本文來(lái)自雅思作文網(wǎng)liuxue86.com《10月份后各作文題分析并探討偏離題情況》。
本文為賴?yán)蠋煂9┏鰢?guó)留學(xué)網(wǎng)雅思頻道(liuxue86.com)作品,轉(zhuǎn)載請(qǐng)注明作者和出處!
作者:賴勁松
有些人認(rèn)為中文寫作對(duì)偏離題要求較嚴(yán),英語(yǔ)寫作只是考語(yǔ)言的應(yīng)用表達(dá)能力,所以對(duì)這方面不以為然,這是大錯(cuò)特錯(cuò)。西方寫作要求特別注重組織嚴(yán)謹(jǐn),結(jié)構(gòu)清晰,強(qiáng)調(diào)原創(chuàng),打擊剽竊。因此雅思評(píng)卷考官對(duì)偏離題抓得很嚴(yán)。不過(guò)5分是給得很松的,只要不離題,字?jǐn)?shù)夠,基本上都能獲5分。但自6分起這方面就賊緊。語(yǔ)言的表達(dá)能力倒是放在較次要的位置。打個(gè)比方,假如兩篇文章均完全符合題目要求,這時(shí)5分和6分的區(qū)別僅在語(yǔ)法上,基本上與單詞量的多少一點(diǎn)關(guān)系都沒(méi)有。還有,我經(jīng)常告誡我的學(xué)生,想考6分或以上者千萬(wàn)要用自己的表達(dá),就算有不少語(yǔ)法或中式英語(yǔ)的錯(cuò)誤,也比去套用那些中國(guó)人以為有9分的表達(dá)尤其是那些較流行的卻被鬼佬標(biāo)識(shí)為"中式"英語(yǔ)的強(qiáng)百倍,原創(chuàng)性is highly appreciated!
下面我從幾方面來(lái)分析寫作評(píng)分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)。
一、 10月11及18日Task2(A):
International tourism now is the biggest industry in the world. Unfortunately, it creates tension rather than understanding between the peoples from different cultures.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with the above opinion?
沒(méi)想到旅游的題目能出到這么難,想不偏/離題都難。據(jù)我了解多數(shù)人寫偏了或者自己不知自己寫了什么。這道題必須鎖定下面兩個(gè)要點(diǎn):
1、 這是由不同文化背景的人去他國(guó)旅游而得到的understanding和引起的tension,忽略國(guó)際旅游或不同文化均以離題處置,英語(yǔ)高手可憑TASK1得高分換得最后得分5;
2、 這是argumentation的D型題, tension 和understanding 兩方面都必須提及,只說(shuō)一方面而不提另一方均以偏題處置,程度高者可得5分。
下面我們來(lái)參考兩個(gè)參加過(guò)我授課學(xué)員的作文考試回憶來(lái)進(jìn)一步了解評(píng)分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)。
第一位(10月11日考):潘育軍,大學(xué)本科畢業(yè),大部分課堂習(xí)作為7分和7加,一篇8分,一篇7。5,我覺(jué)得其英語(yǔ)表達(dá)為8減,當(dāng)時(shí)期望其考8分,結(jié)果卻得了6分(4門中最低),我相信其TASK1絕對(duì)能得7。5以上。附上考試之作(我絕無(wú)作任何改動(dòng)),大家可從其流暢的英語(yǔ)表達(dá)中感受到其功力,但可惜明顯偏題,大部分篇幅將題目當(dāng)討論文而非議論文來(lái)寫,憑功力好才得了5分,然后憑高分TASK1得了最后
的6分,令人惋惜。
附件:
考生:潘育軍。實(shí)際用時(shí):因task1 占去27分鐘,只有33分鐘用于此task2。6分的作文也好意思在此丟人現(xiàn)眼,慚愧慚愧!但有質(zhì)量承諾:此基本上為當(dāng)時(shí)原貌,絕無(wú)后期修繕,否則原銀奉還。嘻嘻!
When you are eating, it is possible that you have your throat choked. But this likelihood is so tiny that it can be neglected. The same is true for international tourism. Collisions and disagreements caused by cultural differences are so slight that they can be eliminated by the understanding and friendship created in international tourism. It is unnecessary for us to worry about this so much as to be unable to fall asleep calmly at night.
liuxue86.com雅思作文網(wǎng),您的學(xué)習(xí)好幫手!感謝您閱覽《10月份后各作文題分析并探討偏離題情況》一文.本文來(lái)自雅思作文網(wǎng)liuxue86.com《10月份后各作文題分析并探討偏離題情況》。
The purpose and main stream of international tourism is communication and understanding rather than conflict and collision. Cultural tension created by differences in terms of political beliefs, concept of value, life habits, social customs, etc, is only a very slight side effect, which can never become a big danger. Travel psychology suggests that it is a common phenomenon that before a traveler set off, he or she is usually dreaming of having a good experience of the exotic culture, longing for satisfying his or her curiousity (拼寫錯(cuò)誤,應(yīng)為curiosity). In the course of the actual traveling activity, the satisfactory (詞性錯(cuò)誤,應(yīng)為satisfaction) of curiousity overwhelmingly overcomes the hostile feeling towards the alien culture. And most tourists do understand that this is just the very meaning of international travel, experiencing different culture of another nation is the best part of what they should enjoy during the journey. Otherwise, why not just stay home and enjoy their own culture without going out to do the things called "broadening their outlook"?
In my opinion, after all, cultural tension only happens among those so-called "not so mature" tourists who do not understand the real meaning of tourism. And such tourists are only a minority. They are far unable to raise the trouble of cultural tensions. For the majority of tourists, they enjoy the fresh feeling given by cultural differences. For example, when a foreign tourist sees a Chinese knock at the table with his finger (expressing "thank you") when served with a cup of tea, he or she will only curiously ask why showing the eager (應(yīng)為eagerness 或anxiety) of learning rather than look down upon this custom.
In conclusion, as long as tourists are helped to build up a correct attitude towards cultural gap between nations before they set off, the problem of cultural tension occurs in international tourism can be avoided.
(當(dāng)結(jié)束行文利用最后2-3分鐘回頭檢查時(shí),剛剛發(fā)現(xiàn)上述括號(hào)中用詞錯(cuò)誤,這時(shí)考官即大聲宣布時(shí)間到了必須停止書寫。眼睜睜看著明顯錯(cuò)誤而不能更正,痛哉痛哉?。?BR> 第二位(10月18日考):李夏娟,高中畢業(yè),大部分課堂習(xí)作為6。5分,有時(shí)7分,有時(shí)6分,我覺(jué)得其英語(yǔ)表達(dá)為7減,當(dāng)時(shí)期望其考7分,結(jié)果如愿(4門中最高),我相信其TASK1也能得7分。附考試之作(中文版),大家可以從其緊緊圍繞所有要點(diǎn)展開及舉出"實(shí)例"來(lái)感受切題及符合要求的重要。
附件:
10月18號(hào)寫作回憶
由于時(shí)隔已久,只還記得一些大概的寫作思路。剛拿到作文考卷時(shí),我聽到后面有位男生大罵了一聲"撲街",居然Task2的題目和10月11號(hào)的一模一樣?。∥乙灿幸恍┬暮?,腦子頓時(shí)有些空白,我搜腸刮肚,但那些千辛萬(wàn)苦裝到腦子去的東西一瞬間全忘光光,這種叫天天不應(yīng),叫地地不靈的處境真讓人氣急敗壞!先撇開怎么表達(dá)不說(shuō),這樣的文章,想不寫偏題都難。考之前賴?yán)蠋熢臀覀兎治鲞^(guò)這篇作文,告誡我們緊緊鎖定understanding和tension這兩點(diǎn),兩者都要提及,缺一均以離題處置。千萬(wàn)不要把international tourism寫成國(guó)內(nèi)旅游,這樣的失誤是很不應(yīng)該的。題目還要求我們根據(jù)自己的知識(shí)和經(jīng)驗(yàn)來(lái)準(zhǔn)確的回答,我認(rèn)為這也是不可忽略的,從頭到尾我都是緊緊圍繞題目來(lái)寫,對(duì)他提出的問(wèn)題及要求一一做出回答!穩(wěn)定了一下情緒,我就開始動(dòng)筆了!
liuxue86.com雅思作文網(wǎng),您的學(xué)習(xí)好幫手!感謝您閱覽《10月份后各作文題分析并探討偏離題情況》一文.本文來(lái)自雅思作文網(wǎng)liuxue86.com《10月份后各作文題分析并探討偏離題情況》。
International tourism now is the biggest industry in the world. Unfortunately, it creates tension rather than understanding between the peoples from different cultures.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with the above opinion?
第一段:我比較簡(jiǎn)單的重述了一下題目,并沒(méi)有馬上表達(dá)我的觀點(diǎn)!
第二段:我第一句簡(jiǎn)單的闡述了不得人們?cè)诓煌奈幕尘爸率潜容^容易產(chǎn)生tension的,后來(lái)舉了一個(gè)例子,和賴?yán)蠋煼段牡睦右粯?,有關(guān)啤酒的,有些人因?yàn)椴焕斫猱?dāng)?shù)氐奈幕芎?then,tension就產(chǎn)生了,當(dāng)中就隨便用了一些文字糾纏來(lái)湊字?jǐn)?shù)。
第三段:第一句寫我認(rèn)為通過(guò)international tourism,也促進(jìn)了人們之間理解!題目說(shuō)要根據(jù)自己的經(jīng)驗(yàn)來(lái)回答,然后我就編,謊扯說(shuō)我去年去了某某國(guó)外旅游,后來(lái)通過(guò)與當(dāng)?shù)氐娜私涣骱徒佑|,促進(jìn)了對(duì)他們信仰與文化的了解。
第三段:一開頭我馬上表達(dá)了自己的觀點(diǎn),認(rèn)為引起tension是不可避免的,但是我不認(rèn)為產(chǎn)生的tension比understanding多,相反的,國(guó)際旅游給大家?guī)?lái)更多的理解和好處,最后我總結(jié),隨著大家通過(guò)旅游所增加的理解,矛盾就會(huì)漸漸減少。通篇文章大體是這樣,沒(méi)有什么獨(dú)特之處。寫完之后我居然還剩余5分鐘檢查。
Task1我也還寫得不錯(cuò),描述,比較,總結(jié),歸納我都運(yùn)用了,時(shí)態(tài)也沒(méi)有用錯(cuò)。不是我狂妄,當(dāng)時(shí)我還覺(jué)得如果不出什么差錯(cuò),7分應(yīng)該沒(méi)問(wèn)題!總之,我希望將要考試的鴨子門也不要?dú)怵H,我學(xué)雅思的路也是比較艱辛的,希望你們都能考出好成績(jī)!
二、11月1日Task 2(A)
The government should control the amount of violence in films and on television in order to decrease the violent crimes in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this issue?
許多考生忽視了" in order to decrease violent crimes", 所論證的均為撓癢癢的小事,諸如吸煙等,或看了暴力或黃色內(nèi)容等,這跟"crimes"若沒(méi)沾邊,還是偏/離題。要知道,"commit a crime"可是較嚴(yán)重的事件,比如說(shuō)robbery, homicide, rape, etc.考過(guò)的想想看,有多少人能扯到真正的crimes上??!
三、11月15日TASK2(A)
Computers do not help children to learn more effectively. On the contrary, the use of computers in schools has a negative effect on children's physical and mental development. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
考完后我看到了大量"燦爛的笑容",可是聽到我的"一問(wèn)",你還能笑出來(lái)嗎?Hold your breath--------你有沒(méi)有扯到physical(身體/體力上)和 mental(精神/智力上) development??
請(qǐng)不要嫌我煩,寫作老師的本職工作就是挑學(xué)生毛病的。以后考試的考生----Watch out!!!
衷心祝愿candidates考出好成
liuxue86.com雅思作文網(wǎng),您的學(xué)習(xí)好幫手!感謝您閱覽《10月份后各作文題分析并探討偏離題情況》一文.
本文為賴?yán)蠋煂9┏鰢?guó)留學(xué)網(wǎng)雅思頻道(liuxue86.com)作品,轉(zhuǎn)載請(qǐng)注明作者和出處!
作者:賴勁松
有些人認(rèn)為中文寫作對(duì)偏離題要求較嚴(yán),英語(yǔ)寫作只是考語(yǔ)言的應(yīng)用表達(dá)能力,所以對(duì)這方面不以為然,這是大錯(cuò)特錯(cuò)。西方寫作要求特別注重組織嚴(yán)謹(jǐn),結(jié)構(gòu)清晰,強(qiáng)調(diào)原創(chuàng),打擊剽竊。因此雅思評(píng)卷考官對(duì)偏離題抓得很嚴(yán)。不過(guò)5分是給得很松的,只要不離題,字?jǐn)?shù)夠,基本上都能獲5分。但自6分起這方面就賊緊。語(yǔ)言的表達(dá)能力倒是放在較次要的位置。打個(gè)比方,假如兩篇文章均完全符合題目要求,這時(shí)5分和6分的區(qū)別僅在語(yǔ)法上,基本上與單詞量的多少一點(diǎn)關(guān)系都沒(méi)有。還有,我經(jīng)常告誡我的學(xué)生,想考6分或以上者千萬(wàn)要用自己的表達(dá),就算有不少語(yǔ)法或中式英語(yǔ)的錯(cuò)誤,也比去套用那些中國(guó)人以為有9分的表達(dá)尤其是那些較流行的卻被鬼佬標(biāo)識(shí)為"中式"英語(yǔ)的強(qiáng)百倍,原創(chuàng)性is highly appreciated!
下面我從幾方面來(lái)分析寫作評(píng)分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)。
一、 10月11及18日Task2(A):
International tourism now is the biggest industry in the world. Unfortunately, it creates tension rather than understanding between the peoples from different cultures.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with the above opinion?
沒(méi)想到旅游的題目能出到這么難,想不偏/離題都難。據(jù)我了解多數(shù)人寫偏了或者自己不知自己寫了什么。這道題必須鎖定下面兩個(gè)要點(diǎn):
1、 這是由不同文化背景的人去他國(guó)旅游而得到的understanding和引起的tension,忽略國(guó)際旅游或不同文化均以離題處置,英語(yǔ)高手可憑TASK1得高分換得最后得分5;
2、 這是argumentation的D型題, tension 和understanding 兩方面都必須提及,只說(shuō)一方面而不提另一方均以偏題處置,程度高者可得5分。
下面我們來(lái)參考兩個(gè)參加過(guò)我授課學(xué)員的作文考試回憶來(lái)進(jìn)一步了解評(píng)分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)。
第一位(10月11日考):潘育軍,大學(xué)本科畢業(yè),大部分課堂習(xí)作為7分和7加,一篇8分,一篇7。5,我覺(jué)得其英語(yǔ)表達(dá)為8減,當(dāng)時(shí)期望其考8分,結(jié)果卻得了6分(4門中最低),我相信其TASK1絕對(duì)能得7。5以上。附上考試之作(我絕無(wú)作任何改動(dòng)),大家可從其流暢的英語(yǔ)表達(dá)中感受到其功力,但可惜明顯偏題,大部分篇幅將題目當(dāng)討論文而非議論文來(lái)寫,憑功力好才得了5分,然后憑高分TASK1得了最后
的6分,令人惋惜。
附件:
考生:潘育軍。實(shí)際用時(shí):因task1 占去27分鐘,只有33分鐘用于此task2。6分的作文也好意思在此丟人現(xiàn)眼,慚愧慚愧!但有質(zhì)量承諾:此基本上為當(dāng)時(shí)原貌,絕無(wú)后期修繕,否則原銀奉還。嘻嘻!
When you are eating, it is possible that you have your throat choked. But this likelihood is so tiny that it can be neglected. The same is true for international tourism. Collisions and disagreements caused by cultural differences are so slight that they can be eliminated by the understanding and friendship created in international tourism. It is unnecessary for us to worry about this so much as to be unable to fall asleep calmly at night.
liuxue86.com雅思作文網(wǎng),您的學(xué)習(xí)好幫手!感謝您閱覽《10月份后各作文題分析并探討偏離題情況》一文.本文來(lái)自雅思作文網(wǎng)liuxue86.com《10月份后各作文題分析并探討偏離題情況》。
The purpose and main stream of international tourism is communication and understanding rather than conflict and collision. Cultural tension created by differences in terms of political beliefs, concept of value, life habits, social customs, etc, is only a very slight side effect, which can never become a big danger. Travel psychology suggests that it is a common phenomenon that before a traveler set off, he or she is usually dreaming of having a good experience of the exotic culture, longing for satisfying his or her curiousity (拼寫錯(cuò)誤,應(yīng)為curiosity). In the course of the actual traveling activity, the satisfactory (詞性錯(cuò)誤,應(yīng)為satisfaction) of curiousity overwhelmingly overcomes the hostile feeling towards the alien culture. And most tourists do understand that this is just the very meaning of international travel, experiencing different culture of another nation is the best part of what they should enjoy during the journey. Otherwise, why not just stay home and enjoy their own culture without going out to do the things called "broadening their outlook"?
In my opinion, after all, cultural tension only happens among those so-called "not so mature" tourists who do not understand the real meaning of tourism. And such tourists are only a minority. They are far unable to raise the trouble of cultural tensions. For the majority of tourists, they enjoy the fresh feeling given by cultural differences. For example, when a foreign tourist sees a Chinese knock at the table with his finger (expressing "thank you") when served with a cup of tea, he or she will only curiously ask why showing the eager (應(yīng)為eagerness 或anxiety) of learning rather than look down upon this custom.
In conclusion, as long as tourists are helped to build up a correct attitude towards cultural gap between nations before they set off, the problem of cultural tension occurs in international tourism can be avoided.
(當(dāng)結(jié)束行文利用最后2-3分鐘回頭檢查時(shí),剛剛發(fā)現(xiàn)上述括號(hào)中用詞錯(cuò)誤,這時(shí)考官即大聲宣布時(shí)間到了必須停止書寫。眼睜睜看著明顯錯(cuò)誤而不能更正,痛哉痛哉?。?BR> 第二位(10月18日考):李夏娟,高中畢業(yè),大部分課堂習(xí)作為6。5分,有時(shí)7分,有時(shí)6分,我覺(jué)得其英語(yǔ)表達(dá)為7減,當(dāng)時(shí)期望其考7分,結(jié)果如愿(4門中最高),我相信其TASK1也能得7分。附考試之作(中文版),大家可以從其緊緊圍繞所有要點(diǎn)展開及舉出"實(shí)例"來(lái)感受切題及符合要求的重要。
附件:
10月18號(hào)寫作回憶
由于時(shí)隔已久,只還記得一些大概的寫作思路。剛拿到作文考卷時(shí),我聽到后面有位男生大罵了一聲"撲街",居然Task2的題目和10月11號(hào)的一模一樣?。∥乙灿幸恍┬暮?,腦子頓時(shí)有些空白,我搜腸刮肚,但那些千辛萬(wàn)苦裝到腦子去的東西一瞬間全忘光光,這種叫天天不應(yīng),叫地地不靈的處境真讓人氣急敗壞!先撇開怎么表達(dá)不說(shuō),這樣的文章,想不寫偏題都難。考之前賴?yán)蠋熢臀覀兎治鲞^(guò)這篇作文,告誡我們緊緊鎖定understanding和tension這兩點(diǎn),兩者都要提及,缺一均以離題處置。千萬(wàn)不要把international tourism寫成國(guó)內(nèi)旅游,這樣的失誤是很不應(yīng)該的。題目還要求我們根據(jù)自己的知識(shí)和經(jīng)驗(yàn)來(lái)準(zhǔn)確的回答,我認(rèn)為這也是不可忽略的,從頭到尾我都是緊緊圍繞題目來(lái)寫,對(duì)他提出的問(wèn)題及要求一一做出回答!穩(wěn)定了一下情緒,我就開始動(dòng)筆了!
liuxue86.com雅思作文網(wǎng),您的學(xué)習(xí)好幫手!感謝您閱覽《10月份后各作文題分析并探討偏離題情況》一文.本文來(lái)自雅思作文網(wǎng)liuxue86.com《10月份后各作文題分析并探討偏離題情況》。
International tourism now is the biggest industry in the world. Unfortunately, it creates tension rather than understanding between the peoples from different cultures.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with the above opinion?
第一段:我比較簡(jiǎn)單的重述了一下題目,并沒(méi)有馬上表達(dá)我的觀點(diǎn)!
第二段:我第一句簡(jiǎn)單的闡述了不得人們?cè)诓煌奈幕尘爸率潜容^容易產(chǎn)生tension的,后來(lái)舉了一個(gè)例子,和賴?yán)蠋煼段牡睦右粯?,有關(guān)啤酒的,有些人因?yàn)椴焕斫猱?dāng)?shù)氐奈幕芎?then,tension就產(chǎn)生了,當(dāng)中就隨便用了一些文字糾纏來(lái)湊字?jǐn)?shù)。
第三段:第一句寫我認(rèn)為通過(guò)international tourism,也促進(jìn)了人們之間理解!題目說(shuō)要根據(jù)自己的經(jīng)驗(yàn)來(lái)回答,然后我就編,謊扯說(shuō)我去年去了某某國(guó)外旅游,后來(lái)通過(guò)與當(dāng)?shù)氐娜私涣骱徒佑|,促進(jìn)了對(duì)他們信仰與文化的了解。
第三段:一開頭我馬上表達(dá)了自己的觀點(diǎn),認(rèn)為引起tension是不可避免的,但是我不認(rèn)為產(chǎn)生的tension比understanding多,相反的,國(guó)際旅游給大家?guī)?lái)更多的理解和好處,最后我總結(jié),隨著大家通過(guò)旅游所增加的理解,矛盾就會(huì)漸漸減少。通篇文章大體是這樣,沒(méi)有什么獨(dú)特之處。寫完之后我居然還剩余5分鐘檢查。
Task1我也還寫得不錯(cuò),描述,比較,總結(jié),歸納我都運(yùn)用了,時(shí)態(tài)也沒(méi)有用錯(cuò)。不是我狂妄,當(dāng)時(shí)我還覺(jué)得如果不出什么差錯(cuò),7分應(yīng)該沒(méi)問(wèn)題!總之,我希望將要考試的鴨子門也不要?dú)怵H,我學(xué)雅思的路也是比較艱辛的,希望你們都能考出好成績(jī)!
二、11月1日Task 2(A)
The government should control the amount of violence in films and on television in order to decrease the violent crimes in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this issue?
許多考生忽視了" in order to decrease violent crimes", 所論證的均為撓癢癢的小事,諸如吸煙等,或看了暴力或黃色內(nèi)容等,這跟"crimes"若沒(méi)沾邊,還是偏/離題。要知道,"commit a crime"可是較嚴(yán)重的事件,比如說(shuō)robbery, homicide, rape, etc.考過(guò)的想想看,有多少人能扯到真正的crimes上??!
三、11月15日TASK2(A)
Computers do not help children to learn more effectively. On the contrary, the use of computers in schools has a negative effect on children's physical and mental development. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
考完后我看到了大量"燦爛的笑容",可是聽到我的"一問(wèn)",你還能笑出來(lái)嗎?Hold your breath--------你有沒(méi)有扯到physical(身體/體力上)和 mental(精神/智力上) development??
請(qǐng)不要嫌我煩,寫作老師的本職工作就是挑學(xué)生毛病的。以后考試的考生----Watch out!!!
衷心祝愿candidates考出好成
liuxue86.com雅思作文網(wǎng),您的學(xué)習(xí)好幫手!感謝您閱覽《10月份后各作文題分析并探討偏離題情況》一文.