學(xué)生第一次來(lái)郵:
我的寫作成績(jī)值得復(fù)議嗎?
老師,
您好. 我是您108期周末班的龔雪媚. 在您批改的作文中大多得6+, 您對(duì)我的評(píng)語(yǔ)就是英語(yǔ)表達(dá)超6,組織得好就能拿7的那位同學(xué).
我在9月23日參加的考試,寫作居然只有5分.那次的大作文寫的是"越來(lái)越多的人開(kāi)私家車,說(shuō)說(shuō)優(yōu)點(diǎn)和缺點(diǎn)".我是這樣寫的:
優(yōu)點(diǎn):私家車能繁榮經(jīng)濟(jì), 特別是汽車工業(yè).
方便, 能隨時(shí)隨地到任何地方,不用象公交車一樣限定線路和時(shí)間.
舒適, 不用擠公交車.
缺點(diǎn):令道路更堵塞,特別是上下班高峰期.
汽油供應(yīng)短缺,很多私家車需要排隊(duì)加油(以廣州為例)
造成更多的環(huán)境污染.
結(jié)尾: 認(rèn)為開(kāi)私家車的缺點(diǎn)大于優(yōu)點(diǎn).
考完出來(lái)自我感覺(jué)良好, 不知是否我這樣寫離題了才得個(gè)5分, 還請(qǐng)賴?yán)蠋熤更c(diǎn).
我這樣寫可以拿6分嗎? 我想申請(qǐng)成績(jī)復(fù)議, 值得這樣做嗎?
老師回復(fù):
yes,i think u'd better go for an application of reevaluating. anyway, i’ll still need to tell u some mistakes u made.
now let me try to simulate how the examiner was looking at your task2 n then drew such a stupid conclusion.
the first idea(advantage) is not based on comparison and contrast----more private cars help boom the car manufacturing industryà not a right idea. but the second one hits the point---convenience. how about the drawbacks? traffic jams caused---hmmmm..good idea. more pollution is created---good too. but queue to fill up tanks with gasoline----hmmmm...u might not express it in a coherent way.
after all, u included one good point for the positive side n one for the negative side. i believe u definitely deserve a chance to get band 6. the examiner probably only read the first bit of the advantages n then turned to briefly examine the last part and hence marked your paper like this. if u apply for reassessing, the entire paper( two tasks) will be scrutinized by another examiner, n the good points will not be missed. this is why i tend to encourage u to have a try.
if unclear, call me .
good luck!
Andrew
學(xué)生最后來(lái)郵
I'm glad to tell you that my writing is re-marked as band 6. Thank you very much for the encouragement, otherwise I may lose the confidence to apply the remark.