托福獨(dú)立寫(xiě)作范文欣賞:你喜歡什么時(shí)候買(mǎi)電子設(shè)備

字號(hào):


    托福獨(dú)立寫(xiě)作更考驗(yàn)考生們的邏輯思維,同學(xué)在寫(xiě)作的時(shí)候右沒(méi)有注重這一點(diǎn)呢?接下來(lái)就和出國(guó)留學(xué)網(wǎng)來(lái)看看托福獨(dú)立寫(xiě)作范文欣賞:你喜歡什么時(shí)候買(mǎi)電子設(shè)備?
    “Some people like to buy a piece of technological device as soon as it is available in the market. Other people prefer to buy it after many people have adopted it. Which do you prefer?”
    對(duì)于購(gòu)買(mǎi)電子科技設(shè)備而言,有些人喜歡在它一上市的時(shí)候就買(mǎi),而有些人則喜歡等到很多人用過(guò)之后才買(mǎi),你更喜歡什么時(shí)候購(gòu)買(mǎi)呢?
    寫(xiě)作范文一
    When a new piece of technological device, usually an electronic gadget, is launched, there must be long queues of people who cannot wait to own it. On the other hand, there are patient people, who wait until the market calms down. Although passion is not necessarily undesirable, patience is more adoptable.
    For one thing, if a consumer could stay calm, he or she would likely have an economical deal or even a bargain. As consumer electronics are updated so frequently that the original high price of a model can hardly remain long, it is not smart to purchase a device when it is newly available and at its peak price. After the initial thrill, many early birds regret their impulse because they know that they have overpaid. It is therefore sensible to buy the device when the price drops to a reasonable level. As for the excitement of owning a new digital gear, as long as the device is new to its owner, it does not have to be the freshly available.
    Here comes the follow-up question: for how long should a consumer wait? Usually a few months — when many people have owned it. A typical example is smart phones, whose old models are replaced with new ones annually. A consumer could wait for merely a few months and own the most recent model with a moderate expense of money, saving hundreds of dollars.
    中心句:Waiting is a rational decision also because consumers can be better-informed. Although it is exciting to chase the trend closely, those technological fashionistas can wind up feeling disappointed. When they purchase a newest model of tablet or a most cutting-edgy wearable item, they often have no idea or only a vague idea of how these products actually feel—the appearance, the tactility, the weight and the functionality. At the moment they open the box, any feature that is below their expectations can upset them. Contrarily, patience makes winners. It is particularly advantageous that ‘late arrivals’, who have probably learned the strengths and weaknesses of a device from the feedback of ‘early birds’, are well prepared for the item. Especially unsurprised by the drawbacks, those patient shoppers are less likely to be ripped off .
    In conclusion, first, if a technological product is purchased at a supposedly lower price, it is more worth the money; second, if the decision of purchasing is based on others’ user experience as reference, it may be more reasonable. For these two reasons as the minimum, it is better to buy a technological device when the initial heat is gone than when the tide is high.
    Comment
    1. 詞句使用:
    a) 句法結(jié)構(gòu)豐富且自然:沒(méi)有過(guò)度堆砌語(yǔ)法結(jié)構(gòu)而造成閱讀困難、冗余、油膩,作為范文可以幫助學(xué)生建立正確的導(dǎo)向,防止一味追求復(fù)雜結(jié)構(gòu)。
    b) 詞匯地道且自然:并沒(méi)有追求長(zhǎng)難罕見(jiàn)詞,但大量使用了學(xué)生普遍認(rèn)識(shí)但未必會(huì)用的詞匯,恰如其分,沒(méi)有明顯的中文痕跡。
    2. 謀篇布局:沒(méi)有明顯的模板痕跡,文脈流暢。
    寫(xiě)作范文二
    The idea that people have a cult about premier high-tech brands, especially Apple, is far from an exaggeration, which could be proved by swarms of people queuing in front of retailer stores, desperately craving for a new device, when Apple releases new editions of its products. For those people, buying the newest tech product can bring them a brand new experience and an immediate gratification of vanity, but for me, making a better purchasing decision at a more reasonable price makes the waiting process much more worthwhile.
    Indeed, the recently introduced products can bring you functions you have never experienced before, for example, the face ID in iPhone X, which could be  being an early adopter does not necessarily mean making the right decision. Innovative functions in the new devices could be unstable, or there even could be bugs in the systems of those devices. After all, problems often occur in the first several months after a certain product hit the market. On the contrary, if we choose to wait, the potential instability of new functions could be improved and the bugs solved. Beside, we can know other people’s comments on the device we are interested in, which we can never hear through advertisements on TV and other marketing channels, because commercials often beautify their products, neglecting the drawbacks and exaggerating the salient features. So the customers will be eager to get one. Furthermore, by giving us time to really inspect our true needs instead of purchasing impulsively, a period of time waiting is also crucial for us to make rational decisions.
    People may enjoy the thrill of having something before others, of keeping up with the latest trend, and of partaking in the “insider” community of the tech world, which makes them feel they have a higher social status than others. But this satisfaction comes at a price, often an exorbitant one. Technological devices are expensive, not to mention the ones newly available in the market with a high price tag that is out of reach for many customers. But at the same time, technology renovates very fast, so it is impossible for the high-tech products to maintain the high price for a long time. If you choose to wait, you can easily save a lot of money. More importantly, tech companies often release several products at the same time to ultimately exploit people’s crave for new technology. Take Apple as an example. In every new product announcement conference, it usually releases a series of new products, such as iPhone, iPad, iWatch, and Macbook. If Apple fans want to purchase all the new products, they have to spend thousands of RMB on Apple products alone. What if they are fans of other brands as well? It will be an unbearable financial pressure for those early adopters.
    In conclusion, instead of jumping at a new technological product once it is available, it only takes a little patience for you to obtain one with a higher cost performance. Otherwise, your technological devices bought out of hotheaded decisions are destined to retire to the landfill.
    Comment
    1. 首先主旨清晰,主題句能簡(jiǎn)潔明了;然后是論證充分,每段的論證包括了因果解釋?zhuān)磳?duì)比,以及細(xì)節(jié)拓展,而且第三段寫(xiě)了貼切的例子,符合評(píng)分標(biāo)準(zhǔn);最后,用詞豐富,句子連貫,句式多樣。
    2. 亮點(diǎn)贊賞:內(nèi)容切題,邏輯感強(qiáng);討論充分,論證方式豐富,論證點(diǎn)有主次詳略;文脈順暢;詞匯準(zhǔn)確達(dá)意;句意通順。