TOPIC: ISSUE11 - "All nations should help support the development of a global university designed to engage students in the process of solving the world's most persistent social problems."
It is attempting to agree with the speaker by the nice prospect he describes to us: scholars from all nations come to a global university and cooperate to solve the world's most persistent social problems. (我覺(jué)得這個(gè)句子有些啰嗦，可以改為It is attempting to agree with the speaker by the nice prospect that scholars from all nations come to a global university and cooperate to solve the world's most persistent social problems.)However, under (the)current international environment, that dream could hardly be realized. Before it fulfill(achieving) its goal, it could first cause numerous social problems.
Admittedly, many potential social hazards such as environment problems and poverty gap are ubiquitous in most areas, and solving those problems is far beyond one or a few countries’ competence. The achivements of(made by) International Committee of the Red Cross and International Environment Protection Orgnization have substaintiated the the effectiveness of international cooperation. Thus it is considerable to establish a globle university if it could be free from any intervenor.(這個(gè)句子可能是我們的思路有偏差，我無(wú)法理解，所以無(wú)法評(píng)論) In that university, students from different countries could exchange ideas and experience, and thus get a more comprehensive view of those issues. Integrating different techniques, they might conceive original and effective methods to solve the persistent social problems.(上下文一直在重復(fù)這句話，可以改為 achieve the ends)
上面一段話，你做出讓步，但是就這篇文章而言，我覺(jué)得讓步段放在倒數(shù)第二段比較好，但最大的問(wèn)題是，你只有讓，沒(méi)有收回來(lái)。