高考英語(yǔ)語(yǔ)法:高中英語(yǔ)語(yǔ)法-習(xí)作評(píng)析(11)

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《高中英語(yǔ)語(yǔ)法-習(xí)作評(píng)析(11)》由出國(guó)留學(xué)網(wǎng)liuxue86.com編輯整理。本內(nèi)容整理時(shí)間為05月12日,如有任何問(wèn)題請(qǐng)聯(lián)系我們。
    習(xí)作評(píng)析(11)
    習(xí)作題目 1
    假如你是諾基亞駐中國(guó)辦事處人力資源部職員 Black ,請(qǐng)你用英語(yǔ)給一位名叫李琳的求職者寫一封回信,通知她人力資源部主任將與她面談,寫信日期三月十日。
    回信的要點(diǎn)如下:
    1. 面談?dòng)谌露丈衔缇劈c(diǎn)半在主任辦公室進(jìn)行;
    2. 談話內(nèi)容包括求職動(dòng)機(jī)、有何特長(zhǎng)(懂幾門外語(yǔ))及錄用后的打算等;
    3. 一周后體檢;
    4. 是否錄用于四月初告知。
    注意:
    1. 書信須包括上述要點(diǎn),但不能逐字翻譯。
    2. 注意書信格式。
    3. 詞數(shù): 100 左右。
    Nokia Company China
    March 10,2003
    Dear Li Lin,
    We are very happy to have heard from your letter. I'm Black, a clerk of the Personal Department. Now I'll tell you a good news. Our director is going to have a talk with you in his office at 9:30 in the morning of March 22. You'll have to answer the following questions:
    1. Why do you want to work in our company?
    2. What are you good at?
    3. How many foreign languages are you familiar with?
    4. What do you want to do if you are accepted by our company?
    What's more, you'll have a medical examination in a week. We'll let you know the result at the beginning of April.
    Best wishes,
    Yours sincerely,
    Black
    名師點(diǎn)評(píng)
    本文格式正確,要點(diǎn)齊全,語(yǔ)言流暢,層次分明。尤其是考生熟練地運(yùn)用過(guò)渡句以及“迂回”和“分句”的技巧,為本文增了光,添了彩,但應(yīng)注意冠詞、介詞和名詞的常見(jiàn)用法。
    ( 1 ) heard from your letter 是漢語(yǔ)式英語(yǔ),應(yīng)改為 heard from you 或 received your letter .
    ( 2 ) news 是不可數(shù)名詞,“一則消息”應(yīng)為“ a piece of news ”。
    ( 3 )表示具體一天的上午、下午或晚上用介詞 on .把“ in the morning of ”改為“ on the morning of ”。
    ( 4 )本句是過(guò)渡句,巧妙引出下文,很好!
    ( 5 )由于考生合理使用了“迂回”和“分句”的技巧,這四句話克服了專業(yè)詞匯和較長(zhǎng)語(yǔ)句的束縛,既通俗易懂,又表達(dá)清楚,妙!
    習(xí)作題目 2
    假如你叫 John Smith ,請(qǐng)就如下內(nèi)容給 Bob Geldof 寫一封信。
    1. 你已于昨天收到他的邀請(qǐng)信。
    2. 從來(lái)信中,你得知 Bob Geldof 為了幫助非洲的窮人,已向非洲的一些國(guó)家寄了一大筆錢,而現(xiàn)在正在準(zhǔn)備組織一些著名的歌唱家舉行音樂(lè)會(huì),以便能募集更多的資金。
    3. 為了支持他的工作,表示對(duì)他的尊敬,你愿意接受他的邀請(qǐng),參加下周在倫敦舉行的音樂(lè)會(huì)。
    4. 祝愿音樂(lè)會(huì)成功。
    學(xué)生習(xí)作:
    May 1,2003
    Dear Bob,
    I have received your invitation to an important concert for one day. From your letter I know that you have already sent a big number of money to African countries to help the poor people. Now you are organizing some famous singers to hold a concert so as to collecting more money. In order to support you, express my respect to you, I'm ready to attend the concert holding in London next week.
    May the concert successful.
    Yours,
    John Smith
    名師點(diǎn)評(píng):
    本習(xí)作要點(diǎn)基本齊全(除漏掉要點(diǎn) 1 外),語(yǔ)言較為流暢,格式也正確,特別是在時(shí)態(tài)運(yùn)用方面恰當(dāng),顯示了學(xué)生良好的語(yǔ)言素養(yǎng)。但存在著語(yǔ)法、搭配或表達(dá)上的錯(cuò)誤。
    ( 1 )此處為固定用法“……的請(qǐng)柬” the invitation to……
    ( 2 ) for one day 一段時(shí)間,而 receive 是非延續(xù)性動(dòng)詞,此句應(yīng)改為: I received your invitation yesterday 或者改為 I have had your invitation for one day.
    ( 3 )修飾 money 應(yīng)用 a lot of 或 a large sum of money (一大筆錢)。
    ( 4 ) so as to 其中 to 為動(dòng)詞不定式符號(hào),此句應(yīng)改為 so as to collect more money .
    ( 5 )此外缺少了連接詞 and .補(bǔ)上 and 才能使上下句連貫,行文流暢。
    ( 6 ) hold 在句中作定語(yǔ),應(yīng)用過(guò)去分詞 held 表被動(dòng)意義。
    ( 7 )在( 5 )( 6 )之間缺少要點(diǎn) accept your invitation.
    ( 8 ) May the concert succeed 表祝愿, may 后接動(dòng)詞原形。
    《高中英語(yǔ)語(yǔ)法-習(xí)作評(píng)析(11)》由出國(guó)留學(xué)網(wǎng)liuxue86.com編輯整理