We're sixteen， which is life's flower season. Youthfulness writes down moving inspiring story[stories]（1）。 We're young and full of youthful spirit. Happiness and sadness are the glimmer [glimmering（閃爍的）]（2） stars in the sky.We always have high morale（道德觀）。 We're always getting ready to rush up the next mountain. We want to be heroes. We always think out some strange ideas that always seem to others inconceivable（不可思議的）。
We pay attention to friendship. We can go through fire and water for our friends. Our favourite thing is to go out with our friends but without our parents.We look forward to a kind of life which is free and unrestrained（不受限制的）。 We already hold our own ideals and we are looking forward to the future all the time.
We are sixteen years old. We always say to ourselves，“I've grown up.” Yes， we don't say childish words， neither do we do childish things， nor do we play childish games any more. We have our own way of considering things. We use our own eyes to view the world.
However， we have some shortcomings. We don't have the steadiness（穩(wěn)重） of middle-aged people. We don't have the experience of old people. We even lost[have even lost]（3）the innocence and clean heart of a child.
We are no longer free from care. We begin to have things weighing on our minds. We like playing，but we have to study day and night.
In short， we are upright（正直） but rash（魯莽）， young but superficial（膚淺）。 It's the most wonderful time in our life，the same as the flower season.We enjoy it.But after all it is a short time，so we should do as Jack said in Titanic，“Enjoy every day.”——enjoying this wonderful time.
四川省雙流中學(xué)高一（五）班 瞿靖宇
評 語
這是一篇寫得相當(dāng)出色的作文。全文輕松，流暢，朗朗上口，許多big words 也用得恰到好處。但就語言而言，還是有下列幾點(diǎn)需要提出討論修改：
（1）story 是可數(shù)名詞，如果沒有冠詞的話，還是用復(fù)數(shù)為妥。
（2）glimmer 可作動詞，這里應(yīng)該用現(xiàn)在分詞作前置定語。
（3）美國英語中，常用一般過去時代替現(xiàn)在完成時。這里還是用現(xiàn)在完成時強(qiáng)調(diào)“結(jié)果”為好，可使語義更加清楚。
We pay attention to friendship. We can go through fire and water for our friends. Our favourite thing is to go out with our friends but without our parents.We look forward to a kind of life which is free and unrestrained（不受限制的）。 We already hold our own ideals and we are looking forward to the future all the time.
We are sixteen years old. We always say to ourselves，“I've grown up.” Yes， we don't say childish words， neither do we do childish things， nor do we play childish games any more. We have our own way of considering things. We use our own eyes to view the world.
However， we have some shortcomings. We don't have the steadiness（穩(wěn)重） of middle-aged people. We don't have the experience of old people. We even lost[have even lost]（3）the innocence and clean heart of a child.
We are no longer free from care. We begin to have things weighing on our minds. We like playing，but we have to study day and night.
In short， we are upright（正直） but rash（魯莽）， young but superficial（膚淺）。 It's the most wonderful time in our life，the same as the flower season.We enjoy it.But after all it is a short time，so we should do as Jack said in Titanic，“Enjoy every day.”——enjoying this wonderful time.
四川省雙流中學(xué)高一（五）班 瞿靖宇
評 語
這是一篇寫得相當(dāng)出色的作文。全文輕松，流暢，朗朗上口，許多big words 也用得恰到好處。但就語言而言，還是有下列幾點(diǎn)需要提出討論修改：
（1）story 是可數(shù)名詞，如果沒有冠詞的話，還是用復(fù)數(shù)為妥。
（2）glimmer 可作動詞，這里應(yīng)該用現(xiàn)在分詞作前置定語。
（3）美國英語中，常用一般過去時代替現(xiàn)在完成時。這里還是用現(xiàn)在完成時強(qiáng)調(diào)“結(jié)果”為好，可使語義更加清楚。