It is said that God sends two angels to each new-born baby.These two angels will be with the child all his life， loving him， guarding him， and never leaving him behind. One day， the child himself becomes an angel， too， and there will also be another child under his wings. Of course， as time goes on， I'm no longer young to think it's true. I am willing to believe it. Because [because] （1） I do feel there're two angels around me.And I guess each and every one of us feels that， too.My angels， Mom and Dad， are now and will always be the ones who stay closest to the softest part of my heart. My mom， an affable （和藹可親的） woman， cares for me in every way. And all the things she's done for me shows [show] （2） her tender love. My dad is more serious. He's so busy that there won't be [is not] （3 ） much time he can share with us. But I'm aware of all that I've received from him. I know his love is deep inside.
As the story [of God's angels] （4） goes， the angels used to fly so freely in the wide sky， without pain and without sorrow. But since the baby was born， their wings have no longer been for flying but [for] （ 5 ） keeping the wind and rain away from the child. Year after year， even if their wings become stiff， a short rest is still impossible. Because [because] （ 6 ） the child needs them every minute. Whenever I think of that， my parents' figures will always come into my mind. Their days are gone， so they have placed all their hope on me. Just in the case of the angels， weakness or tiredness can't knock them down. As long as I need them， I know， they will surely be there for me.
So many days have passed. Looking back， I've ever [never] （7） given up or lost my faith [no matter what difficulty I have met in my life ] （ 8 ） . In the warmth of their arms， I've found the strength and courage to carry on. I believe I'll never lose their care. The wide world is so changeable， and I often get lost in what's going on. But I won't be afraid， for I know there're four strong arms supporting me and two hearts beating for me. I'd only like to sincerely thank God for sending such a complete and eternal （永遠(yuǎn)的） love into my life.
湖州中學(xué)高一（12）班 顧軍
評 語
作者從一個(gè)較為新穎的角度，贊美了父母親對子女的無限關(guān)愛和支持。文章以一個(gè)美麗的傳說開始，并用比較法展開，將父母比作傳說中保護(hù)孩子的天使，全文充滿感情，能打動(dòng)讀者的心。文中某些語言上的不足之處點(diǎn)評修改如下：
（1）、（6）這里都應(yīng)該是原因狀語從句，不能自成句子，because 前面的句號要去掉。
（2）主語是all the things，動(dòng)詞 show要用復(fù)數(shù)形式。
（3）表示一般經(jīng)常性的情況，用一般現(xiàn)在時(shí)較自然。
（4）中間已插入講了一大段自己的父母親，回過頭來再講文章開頭的傳說，為了表達(dá)清楚，故加上of God's angels.
（5）加上 for 與前面的 for flying并列起平衡強(qiáng)調(diào)作用。
（7）根據(jù)上下文應(yīng)為never.
（8）原文語義似乎未完整。
As the story [of God's angels] （4） goes， the angels used to fly so freely in the wide sky， without pain and without sorrow. But since the baby was born， their wings have no longer been for flying but [for] （ 5 ） keeping the wind and rain away from the child. Year after year， even if their wings become stiff， a short rest is still impossible. Because [because] （ 6 ） the child needs them every minute. Whenever I think of that， my parents' figures will always come into my mind. Their days are gone， so they have placed all their hope on me. Just in the case of the angels， weakness or tiredness can't knock them down. As long as I need them， I know， they will surely be there for me.
So many days have passed. Looking back， I've ever [never] （7） given up or lost my faith [no matter what difficulty I have met in my life ] （ 8 ） . In the warmth of their arms， I've found the strength and courage to carry on. I believe I'll never lose their care. The wide world is so changeable， and I often get lost in what's going on. But I won't be afraid， for I know there're four strong arms supporting me and two hearts beating for me. I'd only like to sincerely thank God for sending such a complete and eternal （永遠(yuǎn)的） love into my life.
湖州中學(xué)高一（12）班 顧軍
評 語
作者從一個(gè)較為新穎的角度，贊美了父母親對子女的無限關(guān)愛和支持。文章以一個(gè)美麗的傳說開始，并用比較法展開，將父母比作傳說中保護(hù)孩子的天使，全文充滿感情，能打動(dòng)讀者的心。文中某些語言上的不足之處點(diǎn)評修改如下：
（1）、（6）這里都應(yīng)該是原因狀語從句，不能自成句子，because 前面的句號要去掉。
（2）主語是all the things，動(dòng)詞 show要用復(fù)數(shù)形式。
（3）表示一般經(jīng)常性的情況，用一般現(xiàn)在時(shí)較自然。
（4）中間已插入講了一大段自己的父母親，回過頭來再講文章開頭的傳說，為了表達(dá)清楚，故加上of God's angels.
（5）加上 for 與前面的 for flying并列起平衡強(qiáng)調(diào)作用。
（7）根據(jù)上下文應(yīng)為never.
（8）原文語義似乎未完整。