Everyone in our class likes physical exercises. There is a football team in my class. We all call it “Red Cap”， because every Player of the team wears a small red cap. The “Red Cap”plays very well and won [has won] （1） a lot of prizes for our class and our grade too. We are all proud of the team.
Every afternoon， the “Red Cap”team goes out [go] （2） to the playground after class and play football. Some of them are members of the school team. They are working very hard for the team.
The players like famous sports stars very much and it is their dream to become one someday. Sometimes they collect photos of the （3） football stars and put them on the walls. They always try to find time to watch [on TV] （ 4 ） football matches held at home and abroad， because they can learn something from it [them] （5）。
Our “Red Cap” team often participate in （參加） matches at the grade and school levels. The “Red Cap” is always the champion in our grade. And the school team is the city's champion， too.
Although （6） football is a physical exercise mainly for boys， but （6） we girls also enjoy it very much. Whenever a football match is going on， we are always there to cheer our players up.
The players of the “Red Cap” team are not only good at football， but also study very hard. Some of them are the best students in our grade. For example， the team leader Liu Liang always takes the first place in exams.
I hope their dreams will come true in the near future： some of them become football stars， even China's Maradona， the best football player in the world， to win glories for our country.
山東省青島十七中學(xué)高一（5）班 李婷婷
評(píng) 語
作者用充滿自豪和感情的筆調(diào)介紹了他們班的一支足球隊(duì)，特別是作者在介紹了足球隊(duì)在比賽中的成績(jī)時(shí)，不忘提一下足球隊(duì)員對(duì)學(xué)習(xí)也十分認(rèn)真，這就使得文章表現(xiàn)的主題更為全面。文章中某些語言上的不足之處點(diǎn)評(píng)修改如下：
（1）這里用現(xiàn)在完成時(shí)表示至今為止已取得了許多獎(jiǎng)。
（2）這里的out似乎有些令人費(fèi)解，或許作者想表示從教室中走出。另外，team作為集合名詞，可表示單數(shù)，也可表示復(fù)數(shù)。但這里由于動(dòng)詞go的緣故，另外下文play，還有代詞 some of them（= the team）都指示把 team 當(dāng)作復(fù)數(shù)看待更好，可將 goes 改為 go.
（3）由于上文沒有指明哪些 football stars，這里the還是去掉為好。
（4）后文有 abroad，如果不加上 on TV，讀起來好像是出國(guó)去觀看比賽。
（5）前文 football matches是復(fù)數(shù)，代詞應(yīng)該用 them.
（6）although…but的連用錯(cuò)誤是受漢語干擾所致。在語法題中出這類錯(cuò)誤很少，但在口語和作文中會(huì)不自覺地出錯(cuò)，需特別注意。
Every afternoon， the “Red Cap”team goes out [go] （2） to the playground after class and play football. Some of them are members of the school team. They are working very hard for the team.
The players like famous sports stars very much and it is their dream to become one someday. Sometimes they collect photos of the （3） football stars and put them on the walls. They always try to find time to watch [on TV] （ 4 ） football matches held at home and abroad， because they can learn something from it [them] （5）。
Our “Red Cap” team often participate in （參加） matches at the grade and school levels. The “Red Cap” is always the champion in our grade. And the school team is the city's champion， too.
Although （6） football is a physical exercise mainly for boys， but （6） we girls also enjoy it very much. Whenever a football match is going on， we are always there to cheer our players up.
The players of the “Red Cap” team are not only good at football， but also study very hard. Some of them are the best students in our grade. For example， the team leader Liu Liang always takes the first place in exams.
I hope their dreams will come true in the near future： some of them become football stars， even China's Maradona， the best football player in the world， to win glories for our country.
山東省青島十七中學(xué)高一（5）班 李婷婷
評(píng) 語
作者用充滿自豪和感情的筆調(diào)介紹了他們班的一支足球隊(duì)，特別是作者在介紹了足球隊(duì)在比賽中的成績(jī)時(shí)，不忘提一下足球隊(duì)員對(duì)學(xué)習(xí)也十分認(rèn)真，這就使得文章表現(xiàn)的主題更為全面。文章中某些語言上的不足之處點(diǎn)評(píng)修改如下：
（1）這里用現(xiàn)在完成時(shí)表示至今為止已取得了許多獎(jiǎng)。
（2）這里的out似乎有些令人費(fèi)解，或許作者想表示從教室中走出。另外，team作為集合名詞，可表示單數(shù)，也可表示復(fù)數(shù)。但這里由于動(dòng)詞go的緣故，另外下文play，還有代詞 some of them（= the team）都指示把 team 當(dāng)作復(fù)數(shù)看待更好，可將 goes 改為 go.
（3）由于上文沒有指明哪些 football stars，這里the還是去掉為好。
（4）后文有 abroad，如果不加上 on TV，讀起來好像是出國(guó)去觀看比賽。
（5）前文 football matches是復(fù)數(shù)，代詞應(yīng)該用 them.
（6）although…but的連用錯(cuò)誤是受漢語干擾所致。在語法題中出這類錯(cuò)誤很少，但在口語和作文中會(huì)不自覺地出錯(cuò)，需特別注意。