I'm a student of Senior Two， but I still remember some interesting things I did when I was a little child. Of them， there was a very funny one. When I call it back[recall it]（1）， I can't help laughing.
It was one evening. When my father came home， he brought me a little present——a lovely pigeon. How happy I was！ The pigeon had two little round eyes and her feather was grey.“Oh， could I look after her， Dad？”I asked.“Of course！”So I built a little“house”for my pigeon and it seemed that she was also very pleased at her new house[home]（2）。 Every day I changed water for her， gave her fresh food which she liked to eat and cleaned her house carefully. The pigeon was very friendly to me. When I was close to her， she always sang and jumped to welcome me！
A few months later， when I cleaned her cage I found a little white egg in it！ It must be her baby， I thought. So I put some cotton under the egg gently and I hoped the little pigeon would come out very soon.
One week went by， [but]（3）the little pigeon did not come out. I asked Dad worriedly： “Why don't[hasn't]（4）the little pigeon come out？ Doesn't she like me？”“Oh，”Dad laughed and said，“the temperature is too low， so the little pigeon will not come out.”“It's not difficult to let her out！”I shouted loudly. I quickly put the egg into a bowl of hot water and waited for her to come out.“Oh， no！ The baby will die！”As Dad shouted he took the egg out.“If the egg is in the hot water， it will get boiled！ Don't you know？”Dad said angrily.“Oh sorry. I really want to let the baby out！…”
The little pigeon never came out. I was very sad…Such was my childhood， filled with happiness and fun. Now I am very busy with my studies. Sometimes I think it would be better for me to go back to my good old days！
北京工業(yè)大學附中高二（4）班 靳琪
評語
這是一篇生動有趣的作文，從“盼望小鴿子破殼而出”到“拔苗助長式地將鴿蛋放在開水中”，童年的幼稚以及有趣的童年生活躍然紙上。文章中某些語言上的不足之處點評修改如下：
（1）call back不是“回憶”的意思，學習短語時注意不能望文生義。
（2）根據(jù)上下文，這里用home似乎更有感情色彩。
（3）根據(jù)上下文，這里必須加上適當?shù)倪B接詞。
（4）原文動詞時態(tài)有誤。
It was one evening. When my father came home， he brought me a little present——a lovely pigeon. How happy I was！ The pigeon had two little round eyes and her feather was grey.“Oh， could I look after her， Dad？”I asked.“Of course！”So I built a little“house”for my pigeon and it seemed that she was also very pleased at her new house[home]（2）。 Every day I changed water for her， gave her fresh food which she liked to eat and cleaned her house carefully. The pigeon was very friendly to me. When I was close to her， she always sang and jumped to welcome me！
A few months later， when I cleaned her cage I found a little white egg in it！ It must be her baby， I thought. So I put some cotton under the egg gently and I hoped the little pigeon would come out very soon.
One week went by， [but]（3）the little pigeon did not come out. I asked Dad worriedly： “Why don't[hasn't]（4）the little pigeon come out？ Doesn't she like me？”“Oh，”Dad laughed and said，“the temperature is too low， so the little pigeon will not come out.”“It's not difficult to let her out！”I shouted loudly. I quickly put the egg into a bowl of hot water and waited for her to come out.“Oh， no！ The baby will die！”As Dad shouted he took the egg out.“If the egg is in the hot water， it will get boiled！ Don't you know？”Dad said angrily.“Oh sorry. I really want to let the baby out！…”
The little pigeon never came out. I was very sad…Such was my childhood， filled with happiness and fun. Now I am very busy with my studies. Sometimes I think it would be better for me to go back to my good old days！
北京工業(yè)大學附中高二（4）班 靳琪
評語
這是一篇生動有趣的作文，從“盼望小鴿子破殼而出”到“拔苗助長式地將鴿蛋放在開水中”，童年的幼稚以及有趣的童年生活躍然紙上。文章中某些語言上的不足之處點評修改如下：
（1）call back不是“回憶”的意思，學習短語時注意不能望文生義。
（2）根據(jù)上下文，這里用home似乎更有感情色彩。
（3）根據(jù)上下文，這里必須加上適當?shù)倪B接詞。
（4）原文動詞時態(tài)有誤。