In Grade One， I knew Xia Honglin， who left a deep impression on me. Now， I still often think of him.
At school， Xia Honglin was always wearing thicker clothes. He never had classes of PE（體育課）and he seldom laughed. But he was very friendly to everyone. He always did exceedingly well in his studies. However hard we tried， no one could catch up with him. At a parents' meeting， his mother said，“My son's achievements depend on his efforts. He spends at least fourteen hours on study every day. He is having a race with time.”
Soon， I knew [came to know] （1） the story of Xia Honglin. He had a serious heart disease. A year before he went to middle school， he had been installed an import cardiac pacemaker[had got an imported cardio-pacemaker（進口的心臟起搏器）implanted in his body] （2） This cost his family 100000 yuan， so his family became much poorer. As being [to be] （3） a university student was Xia Honglin's only wish， his three sisters had to discontinue their studies（輟學）to help their brother realize his wish. Having heard this story， I suddenly understood why Xia Honglin studied so hard——he wanted to repay his family with his hard work.
Unfortunately， just in that year， in that cold winter， he caught a cold which caused heart trouble again. he was sent to hospital immediately. At night， he was suddenly very excited， so he took out the [a] （4） book to read and said to his parents： “Tomorrow， I will return to school.”But a few minutes later， his face suddenly turned black and he became short of breath. At the moment he seemed to realize that death would come [was coming] （5）。 He grasped his parents' hands：“Dad， Mom， I can't realize my wish. How I admire [envy] （6） my classmates， because they have a chance to go to school， while I don't have a chance any longer…”
Now Xia Honglin has been dead for four years， but his image has been engraved（銘刻）on my memory. And his words“I don't have a chance any longer”will make me value more my chance of learning and study harder.
江蘇省鹽城市中等專業(yè)學校94級經貿外語班 楊麗
評 語
作者講述的是關于一個令人難忘的好學生，盡管身患重病，還是頑強地與病魔抗爭，堅持學習，直至生命的后一刻的故事。在即將離開這個美好世界的時候，他嘆惜的不是別的，而是喪失了繼續(xù)學習的機會。這對我們每一個健康的人來說是多么深刻的觸動！富蘭克林說過：Dost thou（你）love life？ Then do not squander（浪費）time； for that's the stuff （材料）life is made of. 我們一定要珍惜時間，勤奮學習，才能對得起人生。文章中某些語言上的不足之處點評修改如下：
（1）come to know表示“開始了解”。
（2）原句動詞install表示“安裝”。另外句型也有不妥之處，故改之。
（3）還未實現(xiàn)的事情，用不定式為好，也可避免把as誤認為介詞。
（4）這里上下文沒有提到過book，不宜用the，用a為好。
（5）用過去進行時表示即將發(fā)生之事，更為生動。
（6）這里admire用得不對。很多學生想表示“羨慕”時，常用admire，其實admire并不對等“羨慕”。Longman詞典對admire的解釋是“regard…with pleasure and respect”或者“l(fā)ook at with pleasure”。顯然，用在這里均不妥。其實，在很多場合我們所要表達的“羨慕”，要用envy這個動詞。envy（或be envious）與be jealous不同，后者有貶義，而envy沒有。
At school， Xia Honglin was always wearing thicker clothes. He never had classes of PE（體育課）and he seldom laughed. But he was very friendly to everyone. He always did exceedingly well in his studies. However hard we tried， no one could catch up with him. At a parents' meeting， his mother said，“My son's achievements depend on his efforts. He spends at least fourteen hours on study every day. He is having a race with time.”
Soon， I knew [came to know] （1） the story of Xia Honglin. He had a serious heart disease. A year before he went to middle school， he had been installed an import cardiac pacemaker[had got an imported cardio-pacemaker（進口的心臟起搏器）implanted in his body] （2） This cost his family 100000 yuan， so his family became much poorer. As being [to be] （3） a university student was Xia Honglin's only wish， his three sisters had to discontinue their studies（輟學）to help their brother realize his wish. Having heard this story， I suddenly understood why Xia Honglin studied so hard——he wanted to repay his family with his hard work.
Unfortunately， just in that year， in that cold winter， he caught a cold which caused heart trouble again. he was sent to hospital immediately. At night， he was suddenly very excited， so he took out the [a] （4） book to read and said to his parents： “Tomorrow， I will return to school.”But a few minutes later， his face suddenly turned black and he became short of breath. At the moment he seemed to realize that death would come [was coming] （5）。 He grasped his parents' hands：“Dad， Mom， I can't realize my wish. How I admire [envy] （6） my classmates， because they have a chance to go to school， while I don't have a chance any longer…”
Now Xia Honglin has been dead for four years， but his image has been engraved（銘刻）on my memory. And his words“I don't have a chance any longer”will make me value more my chance of learning and study harder.
江蘇省鹽城市中等專業(yè)學校94級經貿外語班 楊麗
評 語
作者講述的是關于一個令人難忘的好學生，盡管身患重病，還是頑強地與病魔抗爭，堅持學習，直至生命的后一刻的故事。在即將離開這個美好世界的時候，他嘆惜的不是別的，而是喪失了繼續(xù)學習的機會。這對我們每一個健康的人來說是多么深刻的觸動！富蘭克林說過：Dost thou（你）love life？ Then do not squander（浪費）time； for that's the stuff （材料）life is made of. 我們一定要珍惜時間，勤奮學習，才能對得起人生。文章中某些語言上的不足之處點評修改如下：
（1）come to know表示“開始了解”。
（2）原句動詞install表示“安裝”。另外句型也有不妥之處，故改之。
（3）還未實現(xiàn)的事情，用不定式為好，也可避免把as誤認為介詞。
（4）這里上下文沒有提到過book，不宜用the，用a為好。
（5）用過去進行時表示即將發(fā)生之事，更為生動。
（6）這里admire用得不對。很多學生想表示“羨慕”時，常用admire，其實admire并不對等“羨慕”。Longman詞典對admire的解釋是“regard…with pleasure and respect”或者“l(fā)ook at with pleasure”。顯然，用在這里均不妥。其實，在很多場合我們所要表達的“羨慕”，要用envy這個動詞。envy（或be envious）與be jealous不同，后者有貶義，而envy沒有。