Eight days have passed since I returned from Japan， but I still remember every minute when I was in Japan at all [clearly indeed （1）。
We were invited to visit Japan and spent one week with a Japanese family. We got to Japan at 2 o'clock on November 23rd. It took us 3 hours to get to the school from the airport. At the meeting room， I met my host family's daughter —— Mikako. She was very short. When she stood beside me， she looked like my younger sister. But she was the most interesting girl there. She raised [was holding] （2） a big piece of paper with the words in Chinese， “You are welcome， Liu Yi.”
I was led to her home. In front of the house they had a small garden and there were some trees in it. Before I arrived， they had already put some colourful lights on a big Christmas-tree.
I was most surprised to find that when I came into their house， all the lights suddenly went out. At that time， I heard firecrackers' sound around me. Then， the lights were on again， but in front of me appeared so many students. “Happy birthday to you， happy birthday to you…” They sang and cheered. Then I saw a big sign on the wall “Happy Birthday to You”。 I was so moved that I didn't know what to say. This was my sixteenth birthday， a birthday celebrated in Japan.
All the Japanese students were very warm and friendly. We chatted together happily. They gave me three presents and I gave them more than twenty postcards in return. This was my first exciting night in Japan.
Japan is a clean， beautiful and civilized country.
At the railway station， I saw all the people walking in a hurry. But they were also in order， waiting in a line， and getting on the train one by one. At each stop， people who wanted to take the train stood beside the train door step so that others could get off the train easily first. They never tried to push on first.
One afternoon， Mikako and I went to a big department store. When we lost our way back， Mikako just said： “Excuse me…” Then an assistant came up to us， and led us to the place we wanted to go to. Whenever I wanted help by saying “excuse me” in Japanese， someone would stop and wait to help me.
A week passed quickly before I knew it. I had to leave： leave the lovely Japanese family； leave my dear friends； leave the kind teachers； leave the beautiful Japanese school. I would leave all that had given me happiness. I couldn't help crying. Mikako said in her letter that it was a short dream. Yes， but I think it was a beautiful dream which will remain in my mind for ever.
上海市第三女子中學(xué)高一（1）班 劉毅
評 語
作者應(yīng)邀去日本訪問，并在那里同一個普通的日本家庭一起度過了難忘的一周。文章詳略有致，記敘了幾件重要事情，寫得較有感情。文章中某些語言上的不足之處點評修改如下：
（1）at all一般用于否定句、疑問句或條件句，而不用于肯定句。
（2）根據(jù)上下文，“舉歡迎牌子”應(yīng)是一種“舉著”的狀態(tài)，而不是“舉起”一下的動作，因此改成過去進(jìn)行時較好。
We were invited to visit Japan and spent one week with a Japanese family. We got to Japan at 2 o'clock on November 23rd. It took us 3 hours to get to the school from the airport. At the meeting room， I met my host family's daughter —— Mikako. She was very short. When she stood beside me， she looked like my younger sister. But she was the most interesting girl there. She raised [was holding] （2） a big piece of paper with the words in Chinese， “You are welcome， Liu Yi.”
I was led to her home. In front of the house they had a small garden and there were some trees in it. Before I arrived， they had already put some colourful lights on a big Christmas-tree.
I was most surprised to find that when I came into their house， all the lights suddenly went out. At that time， I heard firecrackers' sound around me. Then， the lights were on again， but in front of me appeared so many students. “Happy birthday to you， happy birthday to you…” They sang and cheered. Then I saw a big sign on the wall “Happy Birthday to You”。 I was so moved that I didn't know what to say. This was my sixteenth birthday， a birthday celebrated in Japan.
All the Japanese students were very warm and friendly. We chatted together happily. They gave me three presents and I gave them more than twenty postcards in return. This was my first exciting night in Japan.
Japan is a clean， beautiful and civilized country.
At the railway station， I saw all the people walking in a hurry. But they were also in order， waiting in a line， and getting on the train one by one. At each stop， people who wanted to take the train stood beside the train door step so that others could get off the train easily first. They never tried to push on first.
One afternoon， Mikako and I went to a big department store. When we lost our way back， Mikako just said： “Excuse me…” Then an assistant came up to us， and led us to the place we wanted to go to. Whenever I wanted help by saying “excuse me” in Japanese， someone would stop and wait to help me.
A week passed quickly before I knew it. I had to leave： leave the lovely Japanese family； leave my dear friends； leave the kind teachers； leave the beautiful Japanese school. I would leave all that had given me happiness. I couldn't help crying. Mikako said in her letter that it was a short dream. Yes， but I think it was a beautiful dream which will remain in my mind for ever.
上海市第三女子中學(xué)高一（1）班 劉毅
評 語
作者應(yīng)邀去日本訪問，并在那里同一個普通的日本家庭一起度過了難忘的一周。文章詳略有致，記敘了幾件重要事情，寫得較有感情。文章中某些語言上的不足之處點評修改如下：
（1）at all一般用于否定句、疑問句或條件句，而不用于肯定句。
（2）根據(jù)上下文，“舉歡迎牌子”應(yīng)是一種“舉著”的狀態(tài)，而不是“舉起”一下的動作，因此改成過去進(jìn)行時較好。