對(duì)“建議”的建議 A Word on Advice

字號(hào):

Webster defines advice as being, "a recommendation with regard to a course of action."
     韋氏字典給“建議”一詞定義如下:“對(duì)某行為提出意見或忠告?!?BR>     The expression, "I need some advice" has to be one of the most horrifying statements in the English language. What makes it remarkably terrifying is that the advisor is usually confronted with it out of the blue and with little or no warning. My daughter is an expert at this. Lately I have been able to predict when she will call. It usually happens when I am having the type of day when everything seems to be going well. I am actually relaxed with few things that have to be done. It is almost as if I send out a signal to her that I am ready for the challenge. The call always begins with the expression, "Dad". The word is not as important as how it is stated. It sounds like a question being asked by someone who does not want to be heard. In other words, it is a little quieter than a whisper. I know she knows it is I, because she did the calling and I am confident that she knows the sound of my voice. It is almost as if the word is a signal that I had better be ready.
     “我需要點(diǎn)建議”是英文中一句很聳人聽聞的言辭,之所以用“聳人聽聞”一詞是因?yàn)榻o建議的人總是在沒有任何先兆的情況下面對(duì)一些未知的事情。我的女兒是這方面的專家。最近我總能掐算到她什么時(shí)候會(huì)打電話給我,電話鈴總是在風(fēng)平浪靜的日子里響起。我對(duì)逃避不了的事情總是泰然處之,就好象我總在向女兒發(fā)出我整裝待發(fā)的信號(hào)?!鞍职帧?,電話那頭通常用這樣的開場白,其實(shí)這個(gè)稱呼并沒有它聽起來那么偉大。那聲音比耳語還要輕微,好象提出了問題卻又不愿被人聽見似的。其實(shí)她知道我是誰,是她撥的電話,而我確信她聽出了我的聲音,而“爸爸”兩個(gè)字就好象明擺著我要準(zhǔn)備妥當(dāng)。
     When my daughter was small I looked forward to giving her advice. In fact, I sincerely believe that she also enjoyed it. For the most important thing a Dad can do is get his child ready for life. Not that I ever thought I was ready but at least I have been able to survive my years, so far. She used to sit real close to me or on my lap and I would explain the mysteries of life to her. I would tell her of morals and ethics that made life as good as it can possibly be. Years later, when my daughter hit the wonderful teenaged years, she didn't accept my advice as she did in the past. In fact, she obviously dreaded it. However, I gave it to her anyway because I wanted her to survive her teenaged years. I survived them so why shouldn't she listen to me and take in the knowledge that I had from the experiences of my past. For years she never came to me for advice but I continued to submit it. Now that I think of it, my father did the same.
     當(dāng)女兒還很小的時(shí)候,我很渴望給她建議。事實(shí)上,我堅(jiān)信她會(huì)很樂意接受。一名父親最重要的職責(zé)就是讓孩子能準(zhǔn)備充分地面對(duì)生活。倒不是說我就準(zhǔn)備好了,但至少這么多年來我能夠在社會(huì)上生存下來。以前她常依偎在我身旁、或趴在我腿上聽我解釋生活中令她疑惑的事情。同時(shí)我還會(huì)給她講一些倫理道德,盡量讓生活過得更有質(zhì)量。幾年以后,女兒步入了花樣的青春期,她不再接受我的意見。其實(shí)我看得出她很害怕。不管怎樣,我還是給出了我的意見,因?yàn)槲蚁M芷椒€(wěn)地度過那個(gè)階段。我是過來人,為什么她就是聽不進(jìn)我的前車之鑒呢?多年來她都緘口不提此事,但是我仍繼續(xù)給她建議。直到現(xiàn)在我回想起來才發(fā)現(xiàn)我的父親也是這樣。
     Soon, too soon, she left and started her own life. It was as though our separation necessitated that she would once again need, and seek out, my advice. At first this was a good thing, in that I appreciated the fact that she thought my wisdom was worth the time. After awhile I came to the realization that I might not always be right. I started to fear my own answers to her questions.
     恍然間,她離開了我建立了自己的生活。仿佛我們的分開反倒使得有些事情成為必要,她將再次需要尋求我的意見。首先這是件好事情,就此事看來她還是認(rèn)為我的智慧是經(jīng)得起時(shí)間的考驗(yàn)的。然而我又意識(shí)到或許我的建議不總是對(duì)的。于是我開始有些害怕回答她的問題了。
     My daughter is not the only person in my life that asks for advice. My wife does it in an odd way. I know she knows the answer to her question but it is almost as though she wants to combine mine with hers. Sometimes when I give her advice she takes it in and basically makes her own decisions. Other times she gives me that odd look that asks, "What planet were you born on?" Either way I do my best.
     在我的生活中女兒并不是向我征詢意見的人。我妻子的做法卻很怪。她知道問題的答案,但她總希望我的答案能和她的一致。有時(shí)我給出建議,她也欣然接受了,但事實(shí)上她總是按照自己的方式?jīng)Q定事情。有時(shí)她作出十分怪誕的表情看著我似乎在問:“你究竟是哪個(gè)星球的人呢?”在兩種情況下我都能盡力而為。
     My parents have started to ask for my advice. This was very difficult for me to understand. Most of my life my father and mother were the ones to direct me on how I should handle certain situations. They were the ones who survived their years so that they could direct me toward correct decisions. Now the roles seem to be reversed. I guess I should take it as a compliment because this shifting of roles means that they have finally come to the realization that I am capable of making correct choices. Now, if I could only believe this same realization and finally relax in my new role.
     我的父母也開始向我征求意見,對(duì)此我深感不解。因?yàn)閺膩矶际歉改钢笇?dǎo)我如何為人處世,他們可以憑借多年的生活閱歷幫我作出正確的抉擇。而現(xiàn)在我們的角色似乎被互換了。我認(rèn)為這是一種恭維,因?yàn)榻巧慕粨Q意味著他們終于意識(shí)到我已經(jīng)具備正確的抉擇能力了。依現(xiàn)在的情形,我只能相信這種意識(shí)并最終會(huì)在新的角色中釋懷。
     My folk's questions usually surround their preparation for the final stages of their lives. I hate these situations because, if I admit that they are getting old, I am literally resigning myself to the fact that I am not far off. I answer their questions as best as I can, praying that I am advising them to do the right things but how could I possibly know? Unlike giving advice to my daughter, giving advice to my parents involves me guessing what to do without the experience of going through what they are presently going through. I guess they ask me because they trust me, like I have always trusted them.
     朋友們的問題總糾纏在行將之日上。我討厭這樣的問題,因?yàn)槿绻页姓J(rèn)他們老了,那我也只好聽天由命等死了。我盡全力去回答他們的問題,然后期望我的話行之有效,但我又怎么能知道呢?不像給女兒和父母建議,因?yàn)槲覜]有經(jīng)歷過他們正經(jīng)歷的事情,所以建議中夾雜了我的猜測。我想他們問我是因?yàn)樾湃挝?,就如同我一直信任他們一樣?BR>