by Floyd Skloot

by Floyd Skloot
     It came with the steady pace of dusk，
     slow shadings in the distance， a sense of light
     growing soft at the center of her body.
     It came like evening to the farm
     bearing silence and a promise of rest.
     There was nothing to say it was there
     till she found herself unable to move
     and stillness settled its net over the bed.
     A crimson disc of pain suddenly flushed
     from her hips like a last flaring of sun.
     She believed the time had come
     to welcome this perfect weakness
     that had no memory of strength，
     a mercy even as darkness hardened
     inside her joints. It was not to be
     missed. Nor was the mercy of sight：
     she believed the time had come
     to measure every moment and map
     the place she soon must leave.
     At least she had been given time，
     though her wish would have been
     an hour more for each leaf visible
     from her window， a day for trees，
     a week for birds and month to savor
     the voice of each friend who called.
     Though she never belonged in the heart
     of this world， she gave this world her heart.
     Within her stillness she remembered
     the first signs： that brilliant butterfly
     rash on her face， a blink that lasted
     for hours， the delicate embrace of sleep
     veering as in a dream toward the grip
     of death， hunger vanishing like hope.
     Her body no longer knew her body as itself
     but this too was a mercy. To leave herself
     behind and then return was instructive.
     To wax and wane， to live beyond
     the body and know what that was like，
     a gift from God， a mixed blessing shrouded
     in the common cloth of loss. Half her life
     she practiced death and resurrection.