翻譯綜合指導:一些好的翻譯作品二

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Life and death of a hero
    You were well advised to leave your pity at the door of Christopher Reeve's airy, sun-filled home, hidden amid the rolling meadows and white wooden barns of upstate New York. What struck you first, as he was steered into the room, was his commanding height: his throne-like wheelchair lifted his broad-shouldered bulk off the ground; sitting down, you found yourself tilting your head upwards to look at him.
    The accident's power over him was diminishing, he said, as his ventilator sucked and hissed. He no longer snapped awake in the quiet hours, forced to confront, all over again, the fact that he had no sensation from the neck down. He didn't need to turn away when he was driven past the barn where he kept Buck, the thoroughbred horse from which he had been thrown in 1995, breaking his neck. But learning to live with his paralysis wasn't the same as resigning himself to it. "I've still never had a dream that I'm disabled," he said. "Never." He had vowed, controversially, to walk again by the age of 50. At the time, that deadline was three weeks away.
    Walking by 50 had only ever been a hope, not a prediction, Reeve insisted. But what made the news of his death so acutely disorienting was the fact that, on some level, so many of us thought that, eventually - albeit a few years behind schedule - he might actually do it. Of course, he had always stressed that ordinary disabled people were the real superheroes in response to the inevitable movie-themed questions. But for the rest of us, the personal narrative was too seductive to resist: Superman, brought down to earth, ultimately triumphs again through sheer force of will.
    英雄的生與死
    你把憐憫丟在克里斯托弗?里夫通風良好、充滿陽光的家門外。他的家掩映在紐約州北部起伏的草地和白色木頭畜棚之間。他被推進房間時,首先吸引你的是他那令人肅然起敬的高度。寶座一樣的輪椅將他臂膀寬闊的碩大身軀從地面托起。落座之后,你發(fā)現(xiàn),你得仰起頭看他。
    那場事故對他的影響正在減小,他說,呼吸機吸著氣,咝咝作響。萬籟俱寂之時,他不會再突然驚醒,又一次面對頸部以下失去知覺的事實。坐車經(jīng)過飼養(yǎng)“巴克”的牲口棚時,他也不再轉過臉避開?!鞍涂恕笔且黄ゼ兎N馬,1995年,他正是從這匹馬上摔下來跌斷了脖頸。但是,學會在癱瘓狀態(tài)下生活和聽命于癱瘓不是一回事?!拔疫€從來沒有夢見過自己已是殘疾人,”他說,“從來沒有?!彼?jīng)發(fā)誓五十歲時重新邁開雙腿,盡管這曾引起頗多爭議。因為那時,距離最后期限還有三個星期。
    里夫堅稱,五十歲時再走路只是希望,并非預言。但是,他的死訊之所以讓人們如此不知所措,是因為這樣一個事實:從某種角度看,我們那么多人都認為,即使比他的“時間表”晚幾年,他最終也許真的能邁開雙腿走路。當然,在回答人們不可避免提出的關于電影主題的問題時,他總是強調,普通傷殘人才是真正的超級英雄。但是,對于我們大家,他個人的故事太具魅力而無法抗拒:回到現(xiàn)實生活中的超人,最終完全依靠意志的力量,又一次贏得勝利。
    翻譯是一項嚴肅的、需要認真對待的工作
    一、翻譯是一項嚴肅的、需要認真對待的工作。
    從看過的稿子中顯示了參賽者基本上做到了這一點,但是還有不足。比如漏譯。這是一篇文字不長的節(jié)選,又是參加比賽,翻譯之后,無論如何要認真核對一下原文,如果認真核對了,漏譯是可以避免的。有些參賽者對人名的翻譯也反映出譯者很不認真。有的人干脆就不翻,原文照搬,這是不可以的。還有的譯者按照自己的拼法翻譯,結果譯出來的名字五花八門,比如:克里斯多福李維(名與姓中間要有?)、克里斯朵夫瑞夫(名與姓中間要有?)、克里斯托弗?里夫斯 等。扮演“超人”的演員是眾所周知的公眾人物,他的名字不可以隨便翻譯。應該是克里斯托弗?里夫。
    二,翻譯過程中,譯者對原文要有判斷力。
    英文的一詞多義給我們理解原文造成很大的困難,譯者的水平高下也就在這種判斷的過程中顯示出來。不少人把ventilator翻譯成“空調”,“排氣扇”,“通風口”。其實應該是“呼吸機”。判斷要有基礎。這里的基礎是,主人公是高位截癱的病人,呼吸困難,另外還有一個suck,也是引導我們正確判斷的依據(jù)。
    從第一句話的翻譯也可以說明這個問題。You were well advised to leave your pity at the door……有人譯作:“來到這里你便把對李維的同情丟在門外好了”,有人譯作:“但是建議你不要帶著同情踏進他的家”,還有的人譯作:“你一定想過帶著同情登門造訪克里斯托佛?里夫”,還有:“憐憫,是不需要被帶進這個家門的”等許多譯法。根據(jù)朗文字典的解釋,you would well be advised to do something,解釋為: used to tell someone that it is wise to do something,“建議你做某事”。這里雖然是 were,但還是譯成“你曾多次被人忠告”為好。或者干脆像有的譯者翻譯的那樣:“你將憐憫留在克里斯托弗?里夫的既通風又灑滿陽光的家門口”。
    再比如quiet hours。quiet hours通常指晚上11點到第二天凌晨。但英文中使用quiet hours后面跟著描述具體時間的名詞,比如quiet hours in the early morning, quiet hours in the midnight。我們這篇文章中的 quiet hours是泛指“安靜的時間”,不一定非是“夜深人靜”之時(當然也包括“夜深人靜”),因為主人公一天到晚呆在家里,白天也有很安靜的時候,因此翻譯為“萬籟俱寂”更加貼切。類似的情況還很多,不再一一列舉。
    三,注意提高中文的表達能力。
    譯文最突出的問題是譯者中文表達能力較差。詞不達意、過分堆砌、文理不通都顯示了譯者中文功力不足。比如有的譯者把deadline(最后的期限)翻譯成“大限”。就完全錯了?!按笙蕖笔恰白⒍ㄋ劳龅钠谙蕖?,和此處的意思完全不同。有的譯者說主人公是“豢養(yǎng)”了那匹馬?!盎筐B(yǎng)”是個貶義詞,字典上解釋為:“比喻收買并利用”。還有“陽光充沛”。我們說“精力充沛”,不會說“陽光充沛”?!巴L凜凜的個頭”?!皞€頭”不可以用“威風凜凜”形容?!熬d延起伏的牧場和白色的木制農舍”與原文游離,很不準確,因為meadows不是牧場,barns也不是農舍?!八麑捈缯П车拇髩K頭”中文表達得很不準確。這樣的問題很多,此處難以盡訴,但中文表達能力確實是擺在我們大家面前一個亟待解決的問題,英文好不能代替一切。
    四,注意邏輯性。
    不少譯者出的錯誤是因為不合邏輯。比如,好多譯者把as he was steered into the room翻譯成:“他駕著輪椅駛入房間”,“當他搖著輪椅進房間時”。即使不考慮語法,僅從邏輯判斷,也可以知道他是被別人推進來的。因為他全身癱瘓,如何“駕”(“搖”)輪椅?類似的問題還有。其實這個問題不難解決,稍微動一下腦子即可。