The title appears deceptively simple. For most people, their initial reaction would run along the lines of, “Is he mad ？ The social problems we face today stem from being too intolerant！ Look at road builles, fights, all the result of intolerance！”
Before you decide to move on from this column, hear me speak, and understand the destruction we bring upon ourselves.
As with all societies, behavioural patterns stem from upbringing. What we teach our children is what they turn out to be. Granted, there are some that have proven otherwise, but I speak of the masses, not the few.
Take the time to look around you. Look at the people and how they behave. Are we projecting the image of an ideal society ？ Nay, I say.
In our pursuit of all things material in this mad race we call life, many of us have become inconsiderate, selfish, and downright kiasu.
Kiasu. How that word stings my tongue, yet many embrace such a philosophy.
Darwinism dictates that the fittest will survive, and what better way to ensure survival than being kiasu？ Is that a good thing？
Society seems to think so, since kiasu-ism has been wholeheartedly embraced, to the point where marketing of Mr. Kiasu has actually become profitable and socially acceptable.
Got to have everything.
Got to be first in line.
Got to make sure my child gets only the best tutors so he will be first in standard.
Got to queue up early so I can get free textbooks, never mind that I have to double-park my BMW in that two lane street four blocks down.
Hey, there's a gap in the crowd waiting to get on board. I bet I can squeeze in front of that old man so I might be able to find a seat before he does, otherwise someone else will take it.
If it's free, I want one, never mind that I don't even need it, much less know what it is.
Since I've already paid for it, I might as well get the most of it. Besides, everyone else is piling their plates high enough to make Kuala Lumpur's Twin Towers look like Dwarf City.
I'm not in my own country, so their laws don't really apply to me. Besides, I'm a tourist. I bring them revenue. They should welcome me instead.
I could go on citing examples, if not for the fact that I'd be wasting a whole tree preaching to the deaf and blind.
We take things for granted, we take advantage of situations without regard for others, we teach our children to be selfless, kind, understanding, considerate, yet we don't practice what we preach.
And we're actually proud of it. So proud that we can actually have the cheek to merchandise our flaws.
Before you accuse me of being too tight in the pants, ask yourself this： Are you proud to be a Singaporean？ Note that I'm not asking if you are proud to be living in Singapore. I asked if you were proud to be a Singaporean. Tell me, what's there to be proud of？
Have you ever wondered what foreigners think of us ？ You should, especially if you're kiasu, since you'd want to know the praises people sing of us. Excuse me, but I hate to burst your bubble.
People overseas are saying that Singapore is a clean, safe, stable and a wonderful place to live. It's a food heaven, shopping heaven, business heaven, somewhere you'd want to spend your twilight years. I'd bet that's making you feel real good now, doesn't it ？
Have you noticed that no one praises Singaporeans？ When was the last time you heard someone say that Singaporeans are a friendly lot, people who make strangers in their land feel even more at home than where they came from？
We have nothing to be proud of. Singapore is clean because we have people to clean up after us. It's safe because the government enforces laws that deter even the thought of crime. It's a food heaven because we're such a pampered society that we actually want, not need, variety, and because we're such gluttons that we create the demand.
Brand names scream from every corner of Orchard Road because we're such a superficial society, feeling good only in brand-name clothes, cars and homes.
That's the ugly truth. It's like having someone tell you that you have no taste. Even if it is true. It's nothing you want to hear, especially if it is the truth. And what is society doing about it？ It's encouraging it. Because there is a market for it.
If we want Singapore to step into the next millennium as a gracious society, to be respected for who we are as much as what we are, we have to change our mentality.
The first and hardest step comes with accepting the flaws in ourselves, so we can start to change.
Let us see what a gracious society we can become, and see things positively. Let the government take steps by encouraging virtues, not discouraging vices. Let us learn to look away from what we may lose out and instead treasure the newfound virtues we develop. We aren't a perfect society, but there's nothing stopping us from striving for graciousness and good manners.
By now, some of you reading this may think that I'm：
a. Pessimistic
b. Hypocritical
c. Brash
d. All of the above and more
Some of you will even comment on how idealistic I am.
Think what you will, but I have simply pointed out the ugly Singaporean, and prescribed a simple answer to our next moral challenge. Having challenged the status quo, I challenge you to change.
（ This is an abridged version of the article first published in The Graduate magazine （April 1999 ） of the NUSS）
今日新加坡社會：我們是否過于容忍？
這個標題似乎很簡單。多數(shù)人的第一個反應(yīng)就是：“這個人瘋了嗎？我們今天所面對的社會問題就是因為我們太沒有容忍精神了！路霸、打架事件等,都是缺乏容忍而引起的！”
在你決定不看這篇文章之前,且聽我解釋,并了解我們?nèi)绾握跒樽约簬淼満Α?BR> 在所有的社會里,人們的言行舉止是根據(jù)小時候的教養(yǎng)所調(diào)教出來的。我們怎樣教我們的孩子,他們長大后就變成怎樣的人。當然,有時會有例外,但我指的是一般而不是個別的情況。
放眼四顧,看看我們周遭的人和他們的言行舉止,我們是否呈現(xiàn)一個理想社會的形象？非也！
正當我們在生活中追求物質(zhì)財富時,我們當中很多人已經(jīng)變得不為他人著想、自私、甚至怕輸。
怕輸。多么令我討厭的一個詞！但不少人卻接受這個人生哲學。
達爾文說,適者生存,而求存的佳方法莫過于怕輸。
但這是一件好事嗎？我們的社會似乎覺得的確是一件好事,怕輸心態(tài)已經(jīng)被全盤接受,而“怕輸先生”的促銷也已變得有利可圖,被廣大社會接受。
什么都要。
樣樣都要排第一。
要確保我的孩子有好的補習教師,這樣才能考到全級第一。
要提早排隊領(lǐng)取免費課本。就算我得把我的寶馬轎車停在4條街外的雙向車道上的另一部車旁邊,也不算什么。
咦,等著上車的人群中有一個空隙。想必能夠擠在那個老人的前頭,上車后或能搶先找個座位,不然其他人會霸占那個座位。
是免費的我就要,就算我不需要那件東西,或根本不知道那件東西是什么,我還是照拿。
既然付了錢,就吃個夠本吧。何況其他人也把盤子疊得高高的,相比之下,連吉隆坡的雙峰塔也變成了小人國。
我身在國外,他們的法律與我無關(guān)。何況我身為旅客,為他們國家?guī)硗鈪R,他們應(yīng)該歡迎我才對。
我能夠繼續(xù)舉例,但我不想浪費一整棵樹的紙張來對聾人和盲人訓(xùn)話。我們就認了吧。
我們把各事物當成理所當然。我們設(shè)法從每一個情況中索取好處,從不為他人著想。我們教導(dǎo)孩子們不要自私自利、要有愛心、要體諒他人、處處為他人著想,但我們自己的言行卻不一致。而我們還引以為榮,以致我們竟厚著臉皮兜售我們的缺點。
在說我過于挑剔之前,你得先問問自己：你以身為新加坡人為榮嗎？請注意,我不是問你是否以居住在新加坡為榮,而是你是否以身為新加坡人為榮。請告訴我,有什么地方是值得我們驕傲的？
你是否曾經(jīng)想過,外國人是怎樣看我們的？如果你怕輸?shù)脑?你更應(yīng)該想一想這個問題,因為你必定很想知道別人是如何稱贊我們的。但很抱歉,我得刺破你的幻想泡沫。
外國人都說新加坡是一個干凈、安全、穩(wěn)定和美好的居住地方。
新加坡是一個美食天堂、購物天堂、商業(yè)天堂,是一個你要安享晚年的地方。你現(xiàn)在可感到飄飄然了吧？
你是否注意到從來沒有人稱贊新加坡人？你什么時候聽說過有人說新加坡人是友善的一群,讓外國人有賓至如歸的感覺？
我們并沒有什么東西值得我們驕傲。新加坡之所以干凈,是因為我們有清潔工人替我們收拾殘局。新加坡之所以安全,是因為政府所實施的法律,使我們對犯法的行為想都不敢想。新加坡之所以是一個美食天堂,是因為我們的社會太會享福,我們貪吃,要求食物多樣化,產(chǎn)生了這個需求。
烏節(jié)路上到處都是商品,顯示我們的社會是多么的膚淺,只滿足于衣物、汽車和房子。
這是個丑陋的事實。這好比有人對你說你沒有品味。就算千真萬確,你也不愿聽到,特別是事實真是如此的時候。我們的社會作出了什么反應(yīng)？我們正在鼓勵這種行為,因為社會上有這方面的需求。
若我們要新加坡以優(yōu)雅社會的姿態(tài)步入下一個千禧年,使別人因我們的身分和性格尊敬我們的話,我們就必須改變思維。
開頭的第一步——也是艱難的一步——就是接受我們內(nèi)在的缺點,這樣我們便能夠開始改變自己。
讓我們看看我們能夠變成一個怎么樣的優(yōu)雅社會,讓我們往好的方向看。讓政府鼓勵優(yōu)良品德,而不是勸阻不良行為。
讓我們不去計較我們可能失去的東西,而去珍惜我們的優(yōu)良品德。我們不是一個完美的社會,但我們可以追求優(yōu)雅和有禮貌的社會。
在此,有些讀者們或許會認為我很
一、悲觀
二、虛偽
三、莽撞
四、以上所有的選擇以及更多
你們當中有些人更會說我是理想主義者。
隨你們怎么想,我只不過形容了丑陋的新加坡人,并為我們下一個挑戰(zhàn)提供了一個簡單的方法。在挑戰(zhàn)了社會現(xiàn)狀之后,我在此向你們作出改變自己的挑戰(zhàn)。
Before you decide to move on from this column, hear me speak, and understand the destruction we bring upon ourselves.
As with all societies, behavioural patterns stem from upbringing. What we teach our children is what they turn out to be. Granted, there are some that have proven otherwise, but I speak of the masses, not the few.
Take the time to look around you. Look at the people and how they behave. Are we projecting the image of an ideal society ？ Nay, I say.
In our pursuit of all things material in this mad race we call life, many of us have become inconsiderate, selfish, and downright kiasu.
Kiasu. How that word stings my tongue, yet many embrace such a philosophy.
Darwinism dictates that the fittest will survive, and what better way to ensure survival than being kiasu？ Is that a good thing？
Society seems to think so, since kiasu-ism has been wholeheartedly embraced, to the point where marketing of Mr. Kiasu has actually become profitable and socially acceptable.
Got to have everything.
Got to be first in line.
Got to make sure my child gets only the best tutors so he will be first in standard.
Got to queue up early so I can get free textbooks, never mind that I have to double-park my BMW in that two lane street four blocks down.
Hey, there's a gap in the crowd waiting to get on board. I bet I can squeeze in front of that old man so I might be able to find a seat before he does, otherwise someone else will take it.
If it's free, I want one, never mind that I don't even need it, much less know what it is.
Since I've already paid for it, I might as well get the most of it. Besides, everyone else is piling their plates high enough to make Kuala Lumpur's Twin Towers look like Dwarf City.
I'm not in my own country, so their laws don't really apply to me. Besides, I'm a tourist. I bring them revenue. They should welcome me instead.
I could go on citing examples, if not for the fact that I'd be wasting a whole tree preaching to the deaf and blind.
We take things for granted, we take advantage of situations without regard for others, we teach our children to be selfless, kind, understanding, considerate, yet we don't practice what we preach.
And we're actually proud of it. So proud that we can actually have the cheek to merchandise our flaws.
Before you accuse me of being too tight in the pants, ask yourself this： Are you proud to be a Singaporean？ Note that I'm not asking if you are proud to be living in Singapore. I asked if you were proud to be a Singaporean. Tell me, what's there to be proud of？
Have you ever wondered what foreigners think of us ？ You should, especially if you're kiasu, since you'd want to know the praises people sing of us. Excuse me, but I hate to burst your bubble.
People overseas are saying that Singapore is a clean, safe, stable and a wonderful place to live. It's a food heaven, shopping heaven, business heaven, somewhere you'd want to spend your twilight years. I'd bet that's making you feel real good now, doesn't it ？
Have you noticed that no one praises Singaporeans？ When was the last time you heard someone say that Singaporeans are a friendly lot, people who make strangers in their land feel even more at home than where they came from？
We have nothing to be proud of. Singapore is clean because we have people to clean up after us. It's safe because the government enforces laws that deter even the thought of crime. It's a food heaven because we're such a pampered society that we actually want, not need, variety, and because we're such gluttons that we create the demand.
Brand names scream from every corner of Orchard Road because we're such a superficial society, feeling good only in brand-name clothes, cars and homes.
That's the ugly truth. It's like having someone tell you that you have no taste. Even if it is true. It's nothing you want to hear, especially if it is the truth. And what is society doing about it？ It's encouraging it. Because there is a market for it.
If we want Singapore to step into the next millennium as a gracious society, to be respected for who we are as much as what we are, we have to change our mentality.
The first and hardest step comes with accepting the flaws in ourselves, so we can start to change.
Let us see what a gracious society we can become, and see things positively. Let the government take steps by encouraging virtues, not discouraging vices. Let us learn to look away from what we may lose out and instead treasure the newfound virtues we develop. We aren't a perfect society, but there's nothing stopping us from striving for graciousness and good manners.
By now, some of you reading this may think that I'm：
a. Pessimistic
b. Hypocritical
c. Brash
d. All of the above and more
Some of you will even comment on how idealistic I am.
Think what you will, but I have simply pointed out the ugly Singaporean, and prescribed a simple answer to our next moral challenge. Having challenged the status quo, I challenge you to change.
（ This is an abridged version of the article first published in The Graduate magazine （April 1999 ） of the NUSS）
今日新加坡社會：我們是否過于容忍？
這個標題似乎很簡單。多數(shù)人的第一個反應(yīng)就是：“這個人瘋了嗎？我們今天所面對的社會問題就是因為我們太沒有容忍精神了！路霸、打架事件等,都是缺乏容忍而引起的！”
在你決定不看這篇文章之前,且聽我解釋,并了解我們?nèi)绾握跒樽约簬淼満Α?BR> 在所有的社會里,人們的言行舉止是根據(jù)小時候的教養(yǎng)所調(diào)教出來的。我們怎樣教我們的孩子,他們長大后就變成怎樣的人。當然,有時會有例外,但我指的是一般而不是個別的情況。
放眼四顧,看看我們周遭的人和他們的言行舉止,我們是否呈現(xiàn)一個理想社會的形象？非也！
正當我們在生活中追求物質(zhì)財富時,我們當中很多人已經(jīng)變得不為他人著想、自私、甚至怕輸。
怕輸。多么令我討厭的一個詞！但不少人卻接受這個人生哲學。
達爾文說,適者生存,而求存的佳方法莫過于怕輸。
但這是一件好事嗎？我們的社會似乎覺得的確是一件好事,怕輸心態(tài)已經(jīng)被全盤接受,而“怕輸先生”的促銷也已變得有利可圖,被廣大社會接受。
什么都要。
樣樣都要排第一。
要確保我的孩子有好的補習教師,這樣才能考到全級第一。
要提早排隊領(lǐng)取免費課本。就算我得把我的寶馬轎車停在4條街外的雙向車道上的另一部車旁邊,也不算什么。
咦,等著上車的人群中有一個空隙。想必能夠擠在那個老人的前頭,上車后或能搶先找個座位,不然其他人會霸占那個座位。
是免費的我就要,就算我不需要那件東西,或根本不知道那件東西是什么,我還是照拿。
既然付了錢,就吃個夠本吧。何況其他人也把盤子疊得高高的,相比之下,連吉隆坡的雙峰塔也變成了小人國。
我身在國外,他們的法律與我無關(guān)。何況我身為旅客,為他們國家?guī)硗鈪R,他們應(yīng)該歡迎我才對。
我能夠繼續(xù)舉例,但我不想浪費一整棵樹的紙張來對聾人和盲人訓(xùn)話。我們就認了吧。
我們把各事物當成理所當然。我們設(shè)法從每一個情況中索取好處,從不為他人著想。我們教導(dǎo)孩子們不要自私自利、要有愛心、要體諒他人、處處為他人著想,但我們自己的言行卻不一致。而我們還引以為榮,以致我們竟厚著臉皮兜售我們的缺點。
在說我過于挑剔之前,你得先問問自己：你以身為新加坡人為榮嗎？請注意,我不是問你是否以居住在新加坡為榮,而是你是否以身為新加坡人為榮。請告訴我,有什么地方是值得我們驕傲的？
你是否曾經(jīng)想過,外國人是怎樣看我們的？如果你怕輸?shù)脑?你更應(yīng)該想一想這個問題,因為你必定很想知道別人是如何稱贊我們的。但很抱歉,我得刺破你的幻想泡沫。
外國人都說新加坡是一個干凈、安全、穩(wěn)定和美好的居住地方。
新加坡是一個美食天堂、購物天堂、商業(yè)天堂,是一個你要安享晚年的地方。你現(xiàn)在可感到飄飄然了吧？
你是否注意到從來沒有人稱贊新加坡人？你什么時候聽說過有人說新加坡人是友善的一群,讓外國人有賓至如歸的感覺？
我們并沒有什么東西值得我們驕傲。新加坡之所以干凈,是因為我們有清潔工人替我們收拾殘局。新加坡之所以安全,是因為政府所實施的法律,使我們對犯法的行為想都不敢想。新加坡之所以是一個美食天堂,是因為我們的社會太會享福,我們貪吃,要求食物多樣化,產(chǎn)生了這個需求。
烏節(jié)路上到處都是商品,顯示我們的社會是多么的膚淺,只滿足于衣物、汽車和房子。
這是個丑陋的事實。這好比有人對你說你沒有品味。就算千真萬確,你也不愿聽到,特別是事實真是如此的時候。我們的社會作出了什么反應(yīng)？我們正在鼓勵這種行為,因為社會上有這方面的需求。
若我們要新加坡以優(yōu)雅社會的姿態(tài)步入下一個千禧年,使別人因我們的身分和性格尊敬我們的話,我們就必須改變思維。
開頭的第一步——也是艱難的一步——就是接受我們內(nèi)在的缺點,這樣我們便能夠開始改變自己。
讓我們看看我們能夠變成一個怎么樣的優(yōu)雅社會,讓我們往好的方向看。讓政府鼓勵優(yōu)良品德,而不是勸阻不良行為。
讓我們不去計較我們可能失去的東西,而去珍惜我們的優(yōu)良品德。我們不是一個完美的社會,但我們可以追求優(yōu)雅和有禮貌的社會。
在此,有些讀者們或許會認為我很
一、悲觀
二、虛偽
三、莽撞
四、以上所有的選擇以及更多
你們當中有些人更會說我是理想主義者。
隨你們怎么想,我只不過形容了丑陋的新加坡人,并為我們下一個挑戰(zhàn)提供了一個簡單的方法。在挑戰(zhàn)了社會現(xiàn)狀之后,我在此向你們作出改變自己的挑戰(zhàn)。