同等學力英語作文批改(2)

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同等學力英語作文原文:
    Do “Lucky Numbers” Really Bring Good Luck?
    When it comes to the lucky numbers, opinions differ from person to person. Some people may argue that some figures will bring good luck to them and some figures will bring bad luck to them. For instance, some people very like the mumber “6” in China. They say that the mumber—“6”will let them be in a good circumastance. They will pick out a telephone mumber with “6”, a car mumber with “6”and so on. As a contrast,in western some people very hate the mumber “13”.There is not the 13td floor in some hotels even.
    In my opinion ,however, I think the lucky numbers have nothing to do with the good luck. In the first place , a number is only a number in mathematics. In the second place , good luck can’t be caused by a number .Last but not least , if a man is very hard, the good luck will company with him .
    To sum up, people will get good luck depending on their intelligence , effort , wise and so on. “No pain, no gain.” people won’t get good luck depending on a lucky number only.
    點評:9—10分
    文章結(jié)構(gòu)比較清晰,層次比較分明,但是在第二段論證自己的觀點時論據(jù)過于單薄,應該稍微展開一些論述。另外注意一些固定表達的合理應用。加油啊,你有很大的潛力。