The art of living is to know when to hold fast and when to let go.For life is a paradox: it enjoins us to cling to its many gifts even while it ordains their eventual relinquishment. The rabbis of old put it thisway: “A man comes to this world with his fist clenched, but when he dies, his hand is open.”Surely we ought to hold fast to life, for it is wondrous, and full of a beauty that breaks through every pore of God’s own earth. We know that this is so, but all too often we recognize this truth only in our backward glance when we remember what was and then suddenly realize that it is no more.We remember a beauty that faded, a love that waned. But we remember with far greater pain that we did not see that beauty when it flowered,that we failed to respond with love when it was tendered.
A recent experience re-taught me this truth. I was hospitalized following a severe heart attack and had been in intensive care for several days. It was not a pleasant place.One morning, I had to have some additional tests. The required machines were located in a building at the opposite end of the hospital, so I had to be wheeled across the courtyard on a gurney.As we emerged from our unit, the sunlight hit me.That’s all there was to my experience. Just the light of the sun. And yet how beautiful it was—how warming, how sparking, how brilliant! I looked to see whether anyone else relished the sun’s golden glow, but everyone was hurrying to and fro，most with eyes fixed on the ground. Then I remembered how often I, too, had been indifferent to the grandeur of each day, too preoccupied with petty and sometimes even mean concerns to respond from that experience is really as commonplace as was the experience itself:life’s gifts are precious，but we are too heedless of them.
Here then is the first pole of life’s paradoxical demands on us: never too busy for the wonder and the awe of life. Be reverent before each dawning day. Embrace each hour. Seize each golden minute.Hold fast to life, but not so fast that you cannot let go. This is the second side of life’s coin, the opposite pole ofits paradox: We must accept our losses, and learn how to let go.This is not an easy lesson to learn, especially when we are young and think that the world is ours to command, that whatever we desire with the fullforce of our passionate being can，nay will be ours. But then life moves along to confront with realities,and slowly but surely this truth dawns upon us.At every stage of life we sustain losses，and grow in the process.
We begin our independent lives only when we emerge from the womb and lose its protective shelter. We entera progression of schools, then we leave our mothers and fathers and our childhood homes. We get married and have children and then have to let them go. We confront the death of our parents and our spouses. We face the gradual or not so gradual waning of our strength. And ultimately, as the parable of the open and closed hand suggests, we must confront the inevitability of our own demise， losing ourselves as it were, allthat we were or dreamed to be.
生活的藝術(shù)是要懂得如何取舍。因?yàn)樯畋旧碜韵嗝埽核幻娓嬲]我們珍惜它所賜予的諸多恩惠，一面又注定終將其全部收回。古時*教的拉比對此這樣詮釋：“一個人初降人世時手緊握成拳，撒手人寰時卻手掌張開?！蔽覀儺?dāng)然應(yīng)該牢牢抓住生活，因?yàn)樗婷顭o比、美不勝收，滲透了上帝的每一寸土地。我們明白這一點(diǎn)，但往往是在憶及往事、驀然回首卻發(fā)現(xiàn)好景不再時才有所感觸。我們記得凋零的美，消褪的愛。但我們更痛楚地憶起，在美麗綻放時沒有欣賞那份美麗，在情意綿綿時沒有回應(yīng)那份愛意。
近的經(jīng)歷讓我重新認(rèn)識到這個真理。在嚴(yán)重心臟病發(fā)作后，我被送進(jìn)醫(yī)院，在重癥室住了好幾天。那可不是令人愉快的地方。一天早晨，我不得不再做些其它檢查。所需的器械在醫(yī)院對面盡頭的一幢樓里，因此我必須被推著從院子經(jīng)過。檢查完出來時，陽光照在我身上。那是我當(dāng)時感受到的一切。和煦的陽光，多么美麗，多么溫暖，多么耀眼，多么燦爛！環(huán)顧四周，想看其他人是否也在欣賞這金燦燦的陽光，但來來去去的每個人都行色匆匆，眼睛大都盯著地面。這時，我憶起我也經(jīng)常因被瑣碎、有時甚至毫無意義的事占據(jù)頭腦而每天對這樣壯觀的景色熟視無睹。就在那一刻，我突然意識到生活的饋贈是多么珍貴，而我們卻忽視了它們。
這就是生活自相矛盾要求我們的第一極：不要因生活過于忙碌而忽略了它的奇妙和莊嚴(yán)。在每個黎明到來之前心懷敬意。擁抱每一小時。抓住珍貴的每分鐘。抓住生活，但不要抓得太緊，以致于無法放棄。這是生活硬幣的另一面，也是其矛盾的另一極：我們必須接受失去，并且學(xué)會放棄。要學(xué)會這一課并非易事，尤其當(dāng)我們年輕氣盛時，自認(rèn)為是世界的主宰，認(rèn)為用充滿激情的軀體全力追求的東西能夠，而且終將會是我們的。但光陰荏苒，面對現(xiàn)實(shí)，我們才漸漸明白并非如此。在人生的每個階段我們都會蒙受損失，并在此過程中成長。
我們只有脫離母體、失去庇護(hù)所時才開始獨(dú)立生活。我們進(jìn)入各級學(xué)校，然后離開父母。我們結(jié)婚生子，然后再放飛子女。我們面對父母和配偶的離世。我們逐漸或很快變得衰弱。終，如同張開和握緊的手的寓言，我們必須面對不可避免的死亡，失去原來的自 我，失去我們原有的或夢想的一切。
A recent experience re-taught me this truth. I was hospitalized following a severe heart attack and had been in intensive care for several days. It was not a pleasant place.One morning, I had to have some additional tests. The required machines were located in a building at the opposite end of the hospital, so I had to be wheeled across the courtyard on a gurney.As we emerged from our unit, the sunlight hit me.That’s all there was to my experience. Just the light of the sun. And yet how beautiful it was—how warming, how sparking, how brilliant! I looked to see whether anyone else relished the sun’s golden glow, but everyone was hurrying to and fro，most with eyes fixed on the ground. Then I remembered how often I, too, had been indifferent to the grandeur of each day, too preoccupied with petty and sometimes even mean concerns to respond from that experience is really as commonplace as was the experience itself:life’s gifts are precious，but we are too heedless of them.
Here then is the first pole of life’s paradoxical demands on us: never too busy for the wonder and the awe of life. Be reverent before each dawning day. Embrace each hour. Seize each golden minute.Hold fast to life, but not so fast that you cannot let go. This is the second side of life’s coin, the opposite pole ofits paradox: We must accept our losses, and learn how to let go.This is not an easy lesson to learn, especially when we are young and think that the world is ours to command, that whatever we desire with the fullforce of our passionate being can，nay will be ours. But then life moves along to confront with realities,and slowly but surely this truth dawns upon us.At every stage of life we sustain losses，and grow in the process.
We begin our independent lives only when we emerge from the womb and lose its protective shelter. We entera progression of schools, then we leave our mothers and fathers and our childhood homes. We get married and have children and then have to let them go. We confront the death of our parents and our spouses. We face the gradual or not so gradual waning of our strength. And ultimately, as the parable of the open and closed hand suggests, we must confront the inevitability of our own demise， losing ourselves as it were, allthat we were or dreamed to be.
生活的藝術(shù)是要懂得如何取舍。因?yàn)樯畋旧碜韵嗝埽核幻娓嬲]我們珍惜它所賜予的諸多恩惠，一面又注定終將其全部收回。古時*教的拉比對此這樣詮釋：“一個人初降人世時手緊握成拳，撒手人寰時卻手掌張開?！蔽覀儺?dāng)然應(yīng)該牢牢抓住生活，因?yàn)樗婷顭o比、美不勝收，滲透了上帝的每一寸土地。我們明白這一點(diǎn)，但往往是在憶及往事、驀然回首卻發(fā)現(xiàn)好景不再時才有所感觸。我們記得凋零的美，消褪的愛。但我們更痛楚地憶起，在美麗綻放時沒有欣賞那份美麗，在情意綿綿時沒有回應(yīng)那份愛意。
近的經(jīng)歷讓我重新認(rèn)識到這個真理。在嚴(yán)重心臟病發(fā)作后，我被送進(jìn)醫(yī)院，在重癥室住了好幾天。那可不是令人愉快的地方。一天早晨，我不得不再做些其它檢查。所需的器械在醫(yī)院對面盡頭的一幢樓里，因此我必須被推著從院子經(jīng)過。檢查完出來時，陽光照在我身上。那是我當(dāng)時感受到的一切。和煦的陽光，多么美麗，多么溫暖，多么耀眼，多么燦爛！環(huán)顧四周，想看其他人是否也在欣賞這金燦燦的陽光，但來來去去的每個人都行色匆匆，眼睛大都盯著地面。這時，我憶起我也經(jīng)常因被瑣碎、有時甚至毫無意義的事占據(jù)頭腦而每天對這樣壯觀的景色熟視無睹。就在那一刻，我突然意識到生活的饋贈是多么珍貴，而我們卻忽視了它們。
這就是生活自相矛盾要求我們的第一極：不要因生活過于忙碌而忽略了它的奇妙和莊嚴(yán)。在每個黎明到來之前心懷敬意。擁抱每一小時。抓住珍貴的每分鐘。抓住生活，但不要抓得太緊，以致于無法放棄。這是生活硬幣的另一面，也是其矛盾的另一極：我們必須接受失去，并且學(xué)會放棄。要學(xué)會這一課并非易事，尤其當(dāng)我們年輕氣盛時，自認(rèn)為是世界的主宰，認(rèn)為用充滿激情的軀體全力追求的東西能夠，而且終將會是我們的。但光陰荏苒，面對現(xiàn)實(shí)，我們才漸漸明白并非如此。在人生的每個階段我們都會蒙受損失，并在此過程中成長。
我們只有脫離母體、失去庇護(hù)所時才開始獨(dú)立生活。我們進(jìn)入各級學(xué)校，然后離開父母。我們結(jié)婚生子，然后再放飛子女。我們面對父母和配偶的離世。我們逐漸或很快變得衰弱。終，如同張開和握緊的手的寓言，我們必須面對不可避免的死亡，失去原來的自 我，失去我們原有的或夢想的一切。