該不該說(shuō)善意的謊言
善意的謊言在生活中對(duì)不同的人有不同的效果：有的人對(duì)你的謊言欣然接受，即使知道你在撒謊，這能增加兩人關(guān)系;但是有的時(shí)候卻只能使結(jié)果惡化。專(zhuān)家會(huì)告訴這是你為什么.
Okay, so what can telling a little white lie/ do to your relationship? Robi Ludwig, psychotherapist and contributing editor for Cookie Magazine is here to answer that, along with body language expert Janine Driver, good morning to both of you.
Good morning .
OK, we've all told the lies, you know, ''I love your hair'','' you don't look fat'' , blah blah..., all those things. (Right.) Is that so wrong?
It's not so wrong, I mean what a white lie is it's really protecting somebody else's feeling, and the difference between a hard lie and a white lie is a hard lie is said to protect yourself. So really in your relationship through when we wanna be nice to somebody sometimes we air on the side of being polite..
Or sometimes I just think it's called manners.(Yeah, exactly.) If somebody asks me ''do you like my dress'' oh let's pretend it. Someone cooks a meal for you, the chicken is dry,(Right.) I'm, I work to choke it down and say thank you, you know. Yeah. But when can those white lies step over the line and become troublesome?
Well if you are basically doing things to deceive another person, that will ruin your relationship because basically relationships are based on ''I can trust you'', and if you can't trust the other person then you have no relationship.
But what if you say, you know, like I like / drop when you are really dull and you are, so how can you tell white lie there?
I don't think, I don't think you need to go there, because there is enough positive things you can stick with, you can stick with the truth and say something positive. So I am not one for saying something that's a deliberated lie, just to be nice. But You can't say the truth of the conestic that could destroy relationship.
Now I don't actually like this poll, and most people on the poll said '' look it's ok, it's ok to tell lie'', can't remember the percentage, but it was a big percentage that said ''it's ok'', there was 47 percent said'' it's / ok'' and / 23 percent say'' it's not harmful''. But you are the person we don't wanna lie in front of, coz you can tell when someone is lying.
I'm actually the lying tamer, I spot people in lie..
I'm already afraid of you, ok, so tell me, give me some ways that you can tell if someone is lying.
It's interesting, when it comes to little white lies it's very hard to detect perception, because they are not gonna be nervous about it because they just doing it to be nice to you. So they are not gonna exhibit some of the signs. Some of the harder lies, rob you, it's kinda labeling hard lies, where it's to benefit myself or to cut time to others, something like that. Those are really easy to detect.(So what could how come we tell them? )
Some other things I called the noes. like / friends of new asked me and said: hi /, have you ever chosen your husband like a /? It's a real fast no or the NO----
It that a lie of long note?
They are all hot spots, they are called, how about this note, NO, and they close their eye or the n n n n o. These are different verbal indicators you can look for that someone is lying.
What about somebody said when you / blink you eyes a lot , is that another, another...
Well my rule of thumb.. if you want to watch out from your deviate from someone's normal behavior. When talking like this, and my/ bellybutton is facing you, I am giving you my attention, you / ask if I've ever robbed a bank, all of a sudden my body turns, I'm giving you what I call the cold shoulder, that's a hot spot.
Someone told me when I was doing interviews with people who are accused of crimes, is that people looked down and left, they are lying.
No don't believe the hide, hold up
But you know there are certain kinds are there that feel very comfortable lie, because your are right, what you are detecting is a person's fear level, not whether they are lying or not.
Robi, what do you do if you catch someone you know lying to you , would you confront them, something you think you should go along with …
I think it depends on our relationship, but here's a sad thing in close relationship, sometimes people will lie to each other, but if you real care the person and you wanna get the relationship back on track, you can say like this: you are not telling me the truth, I wanna us to have an open relationship, well we can be honest with one another.
Robi , Janine thank you guys both very much.
Thank you
善意的謊言在生活中對(duì)不同的人有不同的效果：有的人對(duì)你的謊言欣然接受，即使知道你在撒謊，這能增加兩人關(guān)系;但是有的時(shí)候卻只能使結(jié)果惡化。專(zhuān)家會(huì)告訴這是你為什么.
Okay, so what can telling a little white lie/ do to your relationship? Robi Ludwig, psychotherapist and contributing editor for Cookie Magazine is here to answer that, along with body language expert Janine Driver, good morning to both of you.
Good morning .
OK, we've all told the lies, you know, ''I love your hair'','' you don't look fat'' , blah blah..., all those things. (Right.) Is that so wrong?
It's not so wrong, I mean what a white lie is it's really protecting somebody else's feeling, and the difference between a hard lie and a white lie is a hard lie is said to protect yourself. So really in your relationship through when we wanna be nice to somebody sometimes we air on the side of being polite..
Or sometimes I just think it's called manners.(Yeah, exactly.) If somebody asks me ''do you like my dress'' oh let's pretend it. Someone cooks a meal for you, the chicken is dry,(Right.) I'm, I work to choke it down and say thank you, you know. Yeah. But when can those white lies step over the line and become troublesome?
Well if you are basically doing things to deceive another person, that will ruin your relationship because basically relationships are based on ''I can trust you'', and if you can't trust the other person then you have no relationship.
But what if you say, you know, like I like / drop when you are really dull and you are, so how can you tell white lie there?
I don't think, I don't think you need to go there, because there is enough positive things you can stick with, you can stick with the truth and say something positive. So I am not one for saying something that's a deliberated lie, just to be nice. But You can't say the truth of the conestic that could destroy relationship.
Now I don't actually like this poll, and most people on the poll said '' look it's ok, it's ok to tell lie'', can't remember the percentage, but it was a big percentage that said ''it's ok'', there was 47 percent said'' it's / ok'' and / 23 percent say'' it's not harmful''. But you are the person we don't wanna lie in front of, coz you can tell when someone is lying.
I'm actually the lying tamer, I spot people in lie..
I'm already afraid of you, ok, so tell me, give me some ways that you can tell if someone is lying.
It's interesting, when it comes to little white lies it's very hard to detect perception, because they are not gonna be nervous about it because they just doing it to be nice to you. So they are not gonna exhibit some of the signs. Some of the harder lies, rob you, it's kinda labeling hard lies, where it's to benefit myself or to cut time to others, something like that. Those are really easy to detect.(So what could how come we tell them? )
Some other things I called the noes. like / friends of new asked me and said: hi /, have you ever chosen your husband like a /? It's a real fast no or the NO----
It that a lie of long note?
They are all hot spots, they are called, how about this note, NO, and they close their eye or the n n n n o. These are different verbal indicators you can look for that someone is lying.
What about somebody said when you / blink you eyes a lot , is that another, another...
Well my rule of thumb.. if you want to watch out from your deviate from someone's normal behavior. When talking like this, and my/ bellybutton is facing you, I am giving you my attention, you / ask if I've ever robbed a bank, all of a sudden my body turns, I'm giving you what I call the cold shoulder, that's a hot spot.
Someone told me when I was doing interviews with people who are accused of crimes, is that people looked down and left, they are lying.
No don't believe the hide, hold up
But you know there are certain kinds are there that feel very comfortable lie, because your are right, what you are detecting is a person's fear level, not whether they are lying or not.
Robi, what do you do if you catch someone you know lying to you , would you confront them, something you think you should go along with …
I think it depends on our relationship, but here's a sad thing in close relationship, sometimes people will lie to each other, but if you real care the person and you wanna get the relationship back on track, you can say like this: you are not telling me the truth, I wanna us to have an open relationship, well we can be honest with one another.
Robi , Janine thank you guys both very much.
Thank you