影片對白
Radio: On the local front, our town of Hale, Maryland, is still buzzing about the less-than-flattering article about their native daughter, Maggie Carpenter. Her bridal exploits were taken to task by New York columnist Ike Graham in USA Today. Mr. Graham called her—
Maggie's Voice: Dear Editor: Greetings from the sticks. Perhaps you believe that a rural education is focused mainly on hog calling and tractor maintenance rather than reading. Why else would you print a piece of fiction about me and call it fact? I suppose Mr. Graham was too busy thinking up slanderous statements about how I dump men for kicks to bother with something silly like accuracy in reporting. Which is understandable, because with a man-eater like me on the loose, who has time to check facts?
Ike: Hey, Frances, lunch today?
Frances: No, I'm going to the bank.
Ike: Sure?
Frances: Sorry, Ike.
Ike: All right. Hey.
Woman: Hey.
Ike: I'm going to put in a good word for you.
Woman: No, that's OK. Don't mention my name there.
Maggie's Voice: That's why I was surprised to find Mr. Graham's editor was a woman. Call me a sentimental fool, but I sort of hoped we man-eaters could stick together.
Ellie's voice: "Anyway, I'm just dropping you big-city folk this little note to say that I have thought of a ritual sacrifice that would satisfy my current appetite: 'Ike Graham's column on a platter.' Yours truly, Maggie Carpenter. P.S. I have enclosed a list of gross factual misrepresentations in your article. "There are fifteen.
Ike: Funny. I like her. She's got spunk.
Ellie: Ike, look. She sent us this list. Our lawyers say it's actionable. I left you four messages. You don't return my calls.
Ike: so? I never returned your calls. Even when we were married I didn't——What's Fisher doing here?
Fisher: Ellie asked me to come down to offer moral support.
Ike: Since when does Ellie need moral support?
Ellie: It's for you, Ike.
Ike: What? What?
Ellie: Journalism lesson number one: If you fabricate your facts, you get fired.
Ike: Lesson number two: Never work for your former spouse.
Ellie: That has nothing to do with it. You cooked this story up, and you know it!
Ike: I did not cook anything up. I had a source.
Ellie: Someone reliable? Some boozehound in a bar?
Fisher: In vino veritas.
Ike: Hey, hey, hey. Don't knock drunk guys in bars. It means they're not driving. Besides, l am a columnist. This is what columnists are supposed to do. It's what you like. We push, we stretch, we go out on a limb. That's what makes me good!
Ellie: No, that's what makes you unemployed.
Ike: All right. Let's consider that my wrist has been slapped alright. There. Slap it. Go ahead, just—— Slap my wrist. That's done. Just give me a call when you feel that I've served my time, and move on.
Ellie: This is permanent, Ike. If you go quietly, I'll get you severance pay.
Radio: On the local front, our town of Hale, Maryland, is still buzzing about the less-than-flattering article about their native daughter, Maggie Carpenter. Her bridal exploits were taken to task by New York columnist Ike Graham in USA Today. Mr. Graham called her—
Maggie's Voice: Dear Editor: Greetings from the sticks. Perhaps you believe that a rural education is focused mainly on hog calling and tractor maintenance rather than reading. Why else would you print a piece of fiction about me and call it fact? I suppose Mr. Graham was too busy thinking up slanderous statements about how I dump men for kicks to bother with something silly like accuracy in reporting. Which is understandable, because with a man-eater like me on the loose, who has time to check facts?
Ike: Hey, Frances, lunch today?
Frances: No, I'm going to the bank.
Ike: Sure?
Frances: Sorry, Ike.
Ike: All right. Hey.
Woman: Hey.
Ike: I'm going to put in a good word for you.
Woman: No, that's OK. Don't mention my name there.
Maggie's Voice: That's why I was surprised to find Mr. Graham's editor was a woman. Call me a sentimental fool, but I sort of hoped we man-eaters could stick together.
Ellie's voice: "Anyway, I'm just dropping you big-city folk this little note to say that I have thought of a ritual sacrifice that would satisfy my current appetite: 'Ike Graham's column on a platter.' Yours truly, Maggie Carpenter. P.S. I have enclosed a list of gross factual misrepresentations in your article. "There are fifteen.
Ike: Funny. I like her. She's got spunk.
Ellie: Ike, look. She sent us this list. Our lawyers say it's actionable. I left you four messages. You don't return my calls.
Ike: so? I never returned your calls. Even when we were married I didn't——What's Fisher doing here?
Fisher: Ellie asked me to come down to offer moral support.
Ike: Since when does Ellie need moral support?
Ellie: It's for you, Ike.
Ike: What? What?
Ellie: Journalism lesson number one: If you fabricate your facts, you get fired.
Ike: Lesson number two: Never work for your former spouse.
Ellie: That has nothing to do with it. You cooked this story up, and you know it!
Ike: I did not cook anything up. I had a source.
Ellie: Someone reliable? Some boozehound in a bar?
Fisher: In vino veritas.
Ike: Hey, hey, hey. Don't knock drunk guys in bars. It means they're not driving. Besides, l am a columnist. This is what columnists are supposed to do. It's what you like. We push, we stretch, we go out on a limb. That's what makes me good!
Ellie: No, that's what makes you unemployed.
Ike: All right. Let's consider that my wrist has been slapped alright. There. Slap it. Go ahead, just—— Slap my wrist. That's done. Just give me a call when you feel that I've served my time, and move on.
Ellie: This is permanent, Ike. If you go quietly, I'll get you severance pay.