Lesson 27 Is It an Ideal Career? Text A I am not an extreme feminist. I am not an extreme anything. However, I am a firm believer in equality and freedom. I think we are all entitled to the same rights and opportunities. perhaps my views on feminism are influenced by the fact that I was an only child and perhaps if I had had a brother,he (and I) might have been treated differently. My mother was the perfect example of all an ardent feminist would hate: she waited hand and foot on my father and did it all without complaint. When my father arrived home from work his soup was served. Every night his clothes for the next day were left out with the underwear thoughtfully placed on top so that he didn't even have to think what to put on first. His shoes were always polished for him, his right to be first in the bathroom was never challenged, and if he ever found himself in the kitchen, it was by mistake. My mother was honestly content with this situstion and regarded my father as a perfect husband: he was a caring, generous man-a good provider. What more could any woman ask? I remember being brought up, not as a male or femaie,but simply as an individual, and although I suppose I must have been influenced by my parents, I do not remember ever being eneouraged to make marriage my major ambition. I was fortunate enough to marry a man who did not expect to chain me to the kitchen sink. He was quite capable of polishing his own shoes , and mine too while he was at it. He was also able to wash dishes , dust , or do anything else around the house. We managed beautifully, with no strict male/female division of labour. Our first baby arrived, much to our delight, six months ago. I was more than pleased to give up my job as I had become sick of it. I looked forward to my baby, and now he is here I actually enjoy him very much. I have no intention of returning to Work, as I think our son ought to have a parent to care for him for a few years at least. Indeed, I could be very happy with the situation, were I not experiencing quite unexpected problems adapting to my new role. When I attended the ante-natal clinicfi, I remember the doctor asking me what I 'was' , meaning my occupation, rather than my blood group or star sign. Yet when I went to the baby clinic for the first time, all they wanted to know was what my husband 'was'. I am still wonderirig what difference that makes to anything, and I was hurt that nobody wanted to know about me any more. Quite suddenly I was just someone's wife and someone's mother. I no longer seemed to have an identity of my Where, previously, my husband was quite happy to help around the house, his attitude now seems to be that if I'm at home all day, I can do all the housework. And what bugs me most is that I find myself going along with it. If the baby cries during the night, then there is no question about who gets up. Have I taken leave of my senses? My sense of self-esteern seems to be clogged with baby powder and baby cream! But the aspect of motherhood I've found hardest to take has been the loss of earning power, and what I see as a loss of financial independence. For seven years I enjoyed helping to bring home the bacon; and money never caused a row. It does now. Although the decision to have our baby and for me to stay at home was a joint one, I feel totally dependent on my husband, who is becoming more and more irritated by my stupidity. The indignity of being financially dependent on my husband is something I feel very, sensitive about. Logically, having a baby ought to have extended me as a person: I should be the person I was plus the person I am, as a result of my new experience. It hasn't worked out like that. Motherhood seems to have wiped out ten years of varied and interesting work experience and taken me back, not forwards-a w